Now that we are getting closer to the end of the semester, with some close to graduating, we need to have a talk about a situation that might arise when you go out into the workplace: SEX.

Now, I’m not talking about restaurants or retail, because having sex there is about as common as those smoke sessions in your car on those 10-minute breaks.

We are talking about the jobs where it’s not a requirement to be stoned.

A poll of 7,000 workers revealed that 40 percent have dated a co-worker at one time in their career, according to a 2008 survey by CareerBuilder.com. Twenty-nine percent of those employees went on to marry the person they dated. Six percent of employees noted that they felt like they needed to leave their job because of a work romance that went sour.

“Dating a co-worker appears to be more accepted in the office these days, with 66 percent of workers saying they do not have to keep their romances a secret at work,” said Rosemary Haefner, vice president of Human Resources at CareerBuilder.com.

The survey also said that 17 percent of females are more likely than men to seek some physical attention from a superior. And before these sexual tigers and tigresses do the deed, they should be aware that 98 percent of workers report that dating a boss didn’t advance their career.

Anyway, you need to be vigilant when dating in the workplace. Things can get complicated if you don’t play your cards right. How do I know? I met my last girlfriend at work. Actually, I’ve met most of my girlfriends at work. But I’m a bartender and that replaces the dental plan in most bars.

Pay attention because there are some important issues to be aware of. Your career and reputation may depend on it!

Sexual harassment is a very real and ugly thing. It is about power and not about anything else. Unwanted sexual advances that make people uncomfortable is not cool. Do not hit on, or make comments, to anyone who hasn’t given you the go ahead. That can be determined by?

Wait! If you don’t know if someone is into you, then they are most likely not.

Try not to be the creepy guy who’s always standing too close or offering the shoulder rub. You see, most guys like to play the numbers game and once they penetrate that barrier of non-contact then they usually feel like they are halfway home.

If you have lady parts then don’t try?

Wait, I can’t think of anything creepy that women do. I’m at a total blank because most guys will “hang out” with any female if there is a possibility to hook-up, regardless how they actually feel about them. Never mind ladies – you are golden.

Now, I’m not saying men don’t get sexually harassed – they do. However, unless you are the old lady in the unhappy marriage or the girl who loves to make out with guys who are in relationships, then you are probably pretty safe to be “morally causal” without feeling any repercussions.

Junior film production major Bobby Cross said he feels like there are ulterior motives in workplace dating.

“It’s like a fantasy. For men, it’s a conquest; with women, it’s more a lure of power,” he said.

Now that we covered all the liability issues, let’s talk about techniques.

The best method for sustaining a workplace relationship is to keep it secret. This usually can only be maintained for a few months, but if you are successful, the fallout of a bad breakup can be minimalized.

Plus, keeping it a secret can add an titillating element to any relationship. Sly comments and discreet touches can add some excitement to an otherwise boring day. The problem with this is having to bite your tongue when a naughty co-worker is trying to work some magic on your secret partner.

Michelle Shergill, senior digital media major, has never dated a boss, but said she knows people who have.

“I think a lot has to do with what you shouldn’t be doing,” Shergill said. “The fear of the repercussions makes it more exciting.”

Another benefit to the secret relationship is when you guys break up and you decide to badmouth each other; it makes for a better story. You gain all of the “street cred” because you pulled off the incognito lovin’ and nothing you say can be disputed because you aren’t supposed to be talking about it anyway.

Immediate action needs to be taken now that you are freshly single. I highly recommend “going out” with the easiest conquest right away. I’m talking about on the way home from the break up. This maneuver trivializes the former relationship and you are safe guarded from having to commit to someone else because “you just got out of a relationship.”

As long as you are honest about your intentions, you can’t be held accountable for misleading anyone. The new hook up expects to be rebound material. It’s like a free get-out-of-jail card.

However, this works differently with a boss. Two very important words you must be aware of: damage control!

When participating in the relationship, be sure to keep detailed notes about times, dates and any other pertinent information that you can use in case you are treated unfairly. If possible, take pictures, and/or video, just in case you don’t get that well-deserved raise because you moved on to someone in the mailroom. Your career may depend on it.

Thoughts of sexual harassment lawsuits and the paranoia of whispers around the water cooler now have replaced fantasies about “jobs” that didn’t make it on your performance review. Your boss will probably be more worried about avoiding a disaster rather than what storage room you guys can “break in”.

Why buy the cow when you already had sex with it?

Gregory Westcott can be reached at [email protected]