Attention cyclists on the Guy West Bridge: Slow down. Many students use the walking bridge as an alternative means to access the campus and it seems just as many wannabe amateur cyclists use the bridge as a stage for their best Floyd Landis impression.

Not all of the people who ride bikes across the bridge are intentionally flying across it. Sometimes it is actually a Sacramento State student who is riding the bike to get to a class. But more often than not, it is some guy over 30 with shaved legs, a helmet with mirrors and a skin tight sponsored cycling suit that screams “notice me”.

Now before I go any further let me acknowledge some of the pro-cycling arguments so I don’t have to deal with them later. Some of the most popular rhetoric of the pro-cycling agenda include phrases such as, “Cycling is good for the planet,” and “Cycling is good for your health” and “Bush is a warmonger.” While some of these may be accurate, it does not excuse cyclists from sharing the road with pedestrians. Cyclists are fond of accusing aggressive drivers of not sharing the road with them, but now it appears that the situation is reversed. On city streets, cyclists must follow traffic laws and most importantly, be predictable. By nature, bicycles operate very quietly and if cyclists are not going to do anything to announce their presence, then they should have to jam baseball cards or put beads on their spokes, so we can here them coming.

On the Guy West Bridge, laws will be damned. As a pedestrian you are lucky if a cyclist gives an advance warning of his/her location as he/she is screaming right behind you. Most of the time someone walking on the bridge can expect to receive a stern warning from a rider in incomprehensible cycling babble as they roll their eyes and continue pedaling off in the distance, the seat of the bicycle firmly pressed on their posterior like a football tee being crammed up a Christmas ham.

Another group that needs a brush up on bridge etiquette is the Sac State cross-country team. They are quite fond of running five side-by-side and taking up every bit of the walkway. One time while walking across the bridge, the team not only forced me up to the side of the bridge but a few of the runners brushed against me and I got the pleasure of wiping the bodily fluids of several men off of me. Seeing as I am not Paris Hilton, this was not a joyful experience.

This is not a difficult problem to solve. Cyclists should not have to walk their bikes across the bridge, but they should not be trying to film a scene from “Breaking Away” either. The track team should not be removed or diverted; they just need to learn to run in pairs or at least threes. I walk the Guy West Bridge at least five days a week, and I am truly tired of being made to feel at fault because some chump wants to get ready for Eppie’s Great Race. If anyone else feels the way I do, find me on the Guy West Bridge. I will be the one with tire marks and footprints on my back?and face.

Jordan Guinn can be reached at [email protected]