I never joined a fraternity. There was a time that I felt sad about this fact. It felt as if it was the one thing that I never did to round out my college experience. Then I realized the reason I stayed out of the fraternity system was because the whole thing was not for me. The community service, the dressing up, the rules, rules, rules I do not find appealing. This is why I have decided to start my own fraternity. The frats on campus need to know I mean no disrespect, and I am just interested in giving the students a choice.

First, my fraternity will be co-ed. Boys and girls are more than welcome. The separation between fraternities and sororities creates several problems. It fuels that whole “us versus them” thing and contributes to the ill feelings that many have for the opposite sex. We are all in this together, so let?s act that way.There will be no dues for this fraternity. We have all heard the argument from those who are non-Greek that the reason they never joined was because they “Did not want to pay for their friends.” This is a bunch ?o? crap. The reason they never joined was because they were unsure or intimidated by the situation, or they simply did not want to join because they had other things going on. Don?t lie about your reasons, it makes you lose credibility. However, a lack of dues gives a friendlier atmosphere to my fraternity and it gives a little extra coin in the pocket of my members.

Initiations are always a big deal in fraternities. Those who are not in them are desperate to know what happens. Those in them are pathological about not revealing any secrets.

To get around this, I will insist all initiations be done out in public where everyone can see. These initiations will include nudity (bet now you?re happy I included women) but won?t include anything that is downright degrading (hint: circle jerk).

There will be no dances or balls with nice clothes. We?re college students, let?s try and act that way. We will do things that are more conducive to college life. Any events we have will be held in places we can destroy and not get in trouble. Dressing up will be considered a sign of weakness. We will elect our governing board based on the stories that explain the stains on the clothes of the nominees.

Finally, there is the matter of naming the fraternity. All of the current fraternities rely on a string of Greek letters to distinguish themselves. We are going to be a little different. We will change our name on a monthly basis for two reasons: to keep things fresh and to keep the police off of our tails.

To those fraternities and sororities currently on campus: feel free to steal the ideas I have put forth. In the long run, the only thing that my fraternity would do would be is more fun and friendly. Our members would join and stay because they wanted to be there, not because they felt a sense of obligation or wanted a better job when they graduated.

Not your ideal fraternity ? Show Ryan Flatley the light by e-mailing him at [email protected].

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