The State Hornet

Sierra’s Spicy Takes: Studying (and dating) abroad and blowjobs

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Sierra’s Spicy Takes: Studying (and dating) abroad and blowjobs

Meet the face behind the new advice column at The State Hornet

Meet the face behind the new advice column at The State Hornet "Sierra's Spicy Takes," Sierra Savage.

Photo and illustrations by Emily Rabasto - The State Hornet

Meet the face behind the new advice column at The State Hornet "Sierra's Spicy Takes," Sierra Savage.

Photo and illustrations by Emily Rabasto - The State Hornet

Photo and illustrations by Emily Rabasto - The State Hornet

Meet the face behind the new advice column at The State Hornet "Sierra's Spicy Takes," Sierra Savage.

Sierra Savage, Distribution manager

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Reader be advised: Sierra’s Spicy Takes is, as the kids might say, NSFW. Read at your own discretion.

This week, we get back to the true purpose of this column; answering your questions. We’re tackling the quandaries of dating while studying abroad, the hesitance for one reader with a bad gag reflex and a new boo.

Q: “I’m studying abroad next semester, and I keep getting mixed responses to if I should date when I’m there. I’ve never really dated before, and I’ve been told that situations like this lead to heavy hookup culture, but I don’t think I’m built for flings. I consider myself a hopeless romantic, but also don’t know if I could be in a relationship where I don’t see someone frequently. Is it asking for a broken heart to be open to dating in a temporary situation?”

  • Lovesick in London

A: I am personally very all or nothing. I am fond of hookup culture, and I think it’s a great solution for someone like me who is interested in having sex, but doesn’t necessarily want to commit to a relationship of any sort.

It sounds like that’s not at all what you’re looking for, and I would guess that’s why some people are telling you not to date.

You might be heartbroken when you come back to America and Benedict (the most British name I could think of) isn’t here to “Netflix and chill” with.

However, I also think that people imagine themselves to be one way and when they actually just go out and experience life, they find that their reactions to situations are different than what they thought it would be.

I wouldn’t be at all surprised if you went to London, found a person and got into a long-distance relationship with that person. I also wouldn’t be shocked if you found that international hookups were your thing.

What I’m saying is you’ll never really know unless you try, but I would warn that it’s risky.

Worst comes to worst, you end up heartbroken with a new story and a new, deeper understanding of yourself. Going through aches and pains from romances gone awry is part of being young and learning from those experiences is part of growing up.

Isn’t that what studying abroad is all about? No? It’s about learning another culture and also getting college credits while traveling? Whatever.

Q: “I’m 22 and I’ve never given a blowjob before. I have a really horrible gag reflex and have always been terrified to try it. Now that I’m with someone, I know he wants me to and I want to try, but I’m worried I’m going to be so bad at it. How do I not look like an idiot when trying to blow him?”

  • Hard Pill to Swallow

A: I’ve honestly never been a pro at blowjobs. I know a girl who had the nickname Dr. Deepthroat when she was in high school, whereas I’m 23 years old and on a scale of one to 10, I would say I’m a solid five.

I was really, really nervous but excited during one of the very first times I blew a guy. A lot of my firsts happened with Eli, so this story is about him again. I texted him asking when it happened, since I couldn’t exactly recall.

RELATED: Sierra’s Spicy Takes: ‘Love Triangles’

Story continues below photo.

Screenshot from Sierra Savage – The State Hornet

He’s right, it was pretty early on. We had been on a date probably doing something stupid like browsing at a Dimple Records. We had a late night dinner at Denny’s. I had a cheese quesadilla with extra pico de gallo.

Later we were fooling around in the back of his car somewhere in my neighborhood. I decided I was going to impress him and put a lot of effort into giving him a really great blowjob.

I’ve always had a pretty sensitive gag reflex, so I didn’t really think much of it when I started experiencing problems.

I definitely ended up puking on Eli’s dick. To this day, it was the most mortified I had ever been. I immediately started apologizing and trying to help him clean up, but I definitely just cried instead. We threw his puked-on underwear in the bush next to where we were parked. I still remember it every time I drive past that bush. I will never forget what that pico de gallo looked like when thrown up on a dick.

Eli was really good about it and didn’t blame me at all, but I was barely 20 and so embarrassed. He told me how it just showed that I really wanted to do well and that obviously it wasn’t attractive being puked on, but it was the thought that counted.

I’ve given better blowjobs since, but I’ve never given a worse one. The moral of the story is, at least in Eli’s case, it’s the effort that counts more than the actual outcum.

If you know you have a bad gag reflex and no experience, tell your partner. He won’t mind; he’ll still be excited, and he’ll still feel special.

Also, everyone looks dumb giving a blowjob. The best advice I have is to be confident and do your best while taking your time and not going too hard. I know it’s kind of a joke video, but the grapefruit blowjob video is kind of inspirational. She looks so dumb, and yet, she is so confident and honestly, I bet her blowjobs are stellar.

Story continues below video

PS: The best tip I’ve ever read came from a Cosmopolitan article about how to give a corkscrew blowjob. The most important takeaway for me was learning what the frenulum is. This changed my whole game and I would recommend using this knowledge.

PSS: Don’t have “Deepthroat” by CupcakKe as your anthem on Tinder, or else guys will expect really great head, even though you just did it because you thought it was funny.

If you have better advice for me or for my readers, please write in and your responses may be published. Don’t forget to submit your questions here or below and come back next week to read more Spicy Takes with Sierra!

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