Double Coverage: Could you be a Jersey Chaser?

Cassie Kolias

Cassie Kolias

Sometimes jersey chasers can be mistaken for fans &- they might blend into the scenery, they are sneaky and cunning.

Sometimes a jersey chaser’s knowledge of the sport could seem impressive &- but it’s all really for her personal gain, she spends hours studying so she will come off as an expert. Sometimes you might try to ask out a jersey chaser by mistake &-

if you don’t play a sport though, she will turn you down, because she is in a sport of her own &- jersey chasing.

Urban Dictionary says a jersey chaser is a woman who only goes after members of certain athletic teams, she is always at the games, and she can usually point out members of the team with whom she has met or had relations. Jersey chasers are inevitable in any sport, but that doesn’t make them any less desperate.

Do you find yourself making goo-goo eyes at the athletes of your “favorite” teams, while they are bending down in their tight, white baseball pants? You could be a jersey chaser.

Jersey chaser is just a nicer word for groupie. Both are derogatory terms. The only difference is in preference.

What I don’t understand is why some of them try a little too hard, and basically stamp their foreheads with the words “easy” and “skanky.”

Sweetheart, when you show up to a football game, wearing shorts that don’t even cover your cheeks, or a top that is practically hanging down to your belly button &- they won’t ever take you seriously.

It’s fine to have a type. It’s not fine to whore yourself out to athletes in hopes you’ll get knocked up and have them pay you a really nice check every month in the form of child support.

Have a little more respect for yourself. You are a person, not a sex toy.

I once met this girl who went to my high school who started jersey chasing early, and clearly it wasn’t for monetary or fame gaining &- she just loved to have athletes on her arm.

If I remember correctly she was a cheerleader, and each season she would have a new boyfriend. Coincidentally she would always be dating a player who she was cheering for. Baseball season she would be with an outfielder. Football season she was with a linebacker. Basketball season she would date a forward. She was a jersey chaser.

If you think that by going to games and cheering for the players on the field you are going to get laid &- you may have a chance of that depending on a player’s standards. But if you think you are going to get a relationship out of the whole deal, chances are slim. If for some reason you have it in your pretty little, overcurled and over hair-sprayed head that you will find an athlete to marry you &- keep dreaming. It’s not going to happen, darling.

You can reach Cassie Kolias at [email protected]