Attend your post, soldiers . . . I mean take your seat! We wear fashion, not fatigues. We don’t stand at attention, but we sit in boredom. This is not boot camp. It’s the 9 a.m. Roll call for History 17A.

We PAY to go here. This isn’t high school. Truancy isn’t an issue and attendance should not be a tool for punishing students’ grades. On average, professors allow students three absences. That’s three one-day passes off of Camp CSUS. Use them wisely.

Attendance should not be mandatory. The day of exams, midterms, and finals are the only necessary days to show up. The textbook is the safety net. If you’re being tested on the book, read it. Don’t waste gas and valuable time marching to your post each and every day.

Relax. Take a day off. You’re exhausted. Before you know it, Friday blurs into Monday morning. Where did Saturday and Sunday go?

Working. Studying. The occasional party? Whatever it may be, the proposition of sleeping in and blowing off Monday should not be restricted by the notion of the Faculty’s version of the “three-strikes” law.

Most lecture classes at CSUS are a temporary sleeping stop. Instead of packing your notebook, you’d rather bring your nice comfy pillow. If you’re going to sleep in class enjoy it at home–not hunched over in a chair with your face firmly planted in your hand.

Why are students falling asleep in class or not showing up at all?

Simple. We need more classes like sociology Professor Donna Provenza’s. “I try to make the classroom a meaningful experience,” says Provenza.

Provenza is down-to-earth in the classroom, sharing personal conversations about her family, mixing laughter with learning. She was one of us. If a lecture was going lifeless, she’d throw in a joke to wake us up. She keeps her students on their toes.

Most students are only fulfilling GE slots, but professors at Sac State should still be looking for satisfaction and fulfillment in teaching. Professor Provenza is, and her lively classes prove it.

Unfortunately, such classes are the exception to the rule.

Are students happy at Sac State? A CASPER poll reported 94 percent of students are satisfied or very satisfied with the way they are being taught. That is bogus! This poll is given while students, mostly freshmen, are registering via CASPER. They haven’t been here long enough for reality to sink in. NOTHING on campus is backed by 94percent of students.

And the CASPER questionnaires are time consuming. We don’t take the time to listen to them. If we took the time to listen to the questions, other students would be sneaking in ahead and taking our courses.

I decided to take my own informal poll of 25 students. What I heard was that students are not happy with the classroom atmosphere. Also, the majority didn’t agree with mandatory attendance.

“Grades should be based on performance, not attendance,” says student Veronica Wagner. Discussing these issues face-to-face allows students to open up about their concerns. It’s not like CASPER is going to talk back to them.

In that same poll, the majority of students agree that a professor’s attitude affects their ability to grasp the material. Not only should students be writing down easy courses, but they should be referencing the Professors that are more lively and energetic. Take Professor Provenza. She teaches in order for students “to learn something valuable and to look at things in a different way.”

Some professors sustain a monotone voice that sounds like a hypnotized George Bush. Trouble falling asleep? Turn on the Sac State television channel and tune into an anthropology lecture. You’ll be off to Neverland in no time.

In large classes like Economics or Chemistry, roll isn’t taken. Once the class size surpasses 60, Professors stop worrying about attendance. So why should students show up for a fifty minute lesson on early colonization when they can read it while trying to fall asleep around midnight?

And attendance-based grading is just simply wrong. If a student earns an A after midterms, essays, and the final, then he should get an A. Being penalized for missing four classes instead of three is ludicrous. What’s next? Extra credit for bringing a pen and paper to class?

Grading attendance actually lowers standards. It says, “Children, mommy and daddy are going to reward you for doing the bare minimum.”

The college classroom is a redundant step toward the ultimate conclusion: a grade. Let us gather the night before with Krispy Kreme donuts and a 6-pack of Cherry Pepsi and cram off of the study guide. Let us show up unshaved and barely awake — and let us take the test.

And please, don’t mispronounce my name every day in front of everyone.

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