TODAY

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year, we’re told, the Holiday Season, when we gather with family and friends–nevermind if these two groups of people are mutually exclusive–and give gifts. Ah yes, gift giving: the institutionalization of a very personal display of appreciation. Tokens of gratitude made mandatory, it seems.

Advertisements tout specific products as must-have, or rather must-give, from about mid-November onward at an accelerating rate. Companies wait until the last fiscal quarter to unleash their most saliva-inducing gadgets, films and collectables in hopes of making the stockholders happy by bumping the year’s average profit margin up a bit.

Times, however, are tougher than these behemoths would like us to know. But we know, don’t we? The strained unemployment insurance figures, the difficulty many families now find in putting food in their bellies and the longer hours many Sacramento State students are having to work in order to keep afloat while still paying the university its tithe attest to the unavoidable fact that we’re suffering a collective lack of spare cash.

So, in the dual spirits of giving and thrift, I present to you the Hornet’s (or at least my) guide to universally thrifty last minute shopping.

1) Pieces of scrap lumber. I know, it seems like an incredibly cheap and rather insulting gift, but what’s more universally useful than wood? Are heating costs putting a strain on your family or your friends? Your friend’s family? Nothing says heat and togetherness, the yule-tide that makes the season bright, like good old fashioned fire. Does that special someone on your shopping list need to furnish a new apartment? Or has this person lost everything to debt collectors? With lumber, you’re only limited by your imagination. Coffee tables, bookshelves, even bed frames are yours to be had with little more than wood and, for a low cost, some nails or wood screws. Your loved ones will go absolutely ga-ga for your thoughtful, versatile offering.

2) Gasoline. It seems somewhat dangerous, I know, but gas is as cheap as it was at the beginning of the Bush administration, before this crazy war and wacky recession drove prices sky-high. Who knows how long prices will remain low? I dare you to show me anybody on your list that couldn’t use a bunch of gas, for cars or lawn mowers or simple home science projects. At roughly $1.70, now’s the time to show how much you care by putting several gallons under the tree. The looks on the children’s faces!

3) Copper Wire. For the tech-head in your life. Is someone you know trying to put together the ultimate home theater system on a budget? Light up their life with a roughly spooled length of wire, available at construction sites and throughout abandoned, bank-owned homes everywhere, and with a rudimentary knowledge of wire splicing they can say “good bye!” to costly extension cords. Also good for hanging framed portraits, replacing shoelaces, or for regifting as replacement for twine or ribbon in gift wrapping.

These three ideas are only the tip of the iceberg, there are wonderful, and most importantly practical gifts to be found everywhere–all you have to do is look! Books are a wonderful gift and can often be found in piles at landfills, and aren’t just for readers–scrap paper is a hot commodity; Altoids tins make for wonderful jewelery boxes and cases for electronics projects; old pasta-sauce jars make delightful drinking vessels… remember, it’s the thought that counts!

Cody Bishop can be reached at [email protected]