It has become the topic of conversation for almost every family gathering I’ve had in the past two years. My uncles, aunts and cousins sound like broken records, “When are you going to settle down and get married?”

It’s a hot topic among college students. I, for one, don’t feel I am ready to handle the responsibilities that come with marriage.

“I don’t recommend marriage at a young age,” said Jermaine Sheppard, senior business major. “People at a young age aren’t mature enough to know the responsibilities.”

I’m not even going to delve into the most obvious reason why I’m not ready to get married. No, I’ll save that for later.

Let’s look at the more humorous side, starting with my selfishness. I am selfish as all hell. I want what I want, when I want it. There is no compromising, and from what I gather, marriage is essentially a compromise.

First off, I can’t quite come to terms with the whole idea of sharing a bed. For the most part, I have slept alone for 23 years, and getting used to a new body in my bed strikes me as uncomfortable. I switch positions countless times throughout the night. My mom used to tell me that I fight in my sleep, and it’s the truth! God help the guy who thinks he’s man enough to take me on during a REM cycle.

Sex is another major issue when it comes to marriage. I hear it from many married couples. Once you get married, you tend to let your sexual inhibitions go. That is one aspect I’m not ready to get with. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for sex. Yeah sex! I just feel that there is nothing a piece of paper and a lovely engagement ring can do to make me accept certain sexual acts as the norm. I won’t go into these acts. I’m sure your imaginations have already gotten the best of you.

I’ve been told that I excel in argument and debate, but when it comes to arguing with a man, especially when that man is my boyfriend, I tend to take the more submissive route. I just don’t want to rock the boat. I know marriage is not all sweet kisses and hugs, but if you want to see what an argumentative couple can do to the sanctity of marriage, look no further that my mother and father, who happen to be divorced. Go figure.

If all one is fed is the negatives of the marriage, then how does one ever expect to enjoy the fruits of one’s labor? When a couple argues excessively, it is easy to forget why the couple fell in love in the first place, and the bad begins to outweigh the good. Soon it is time to bring on the divorce. According to Yahoo.com, marriage is down more than 50 percent since 1970.

Finally, we come to the most important factor, and that is the financial side of marriage. As lovely as the engagement-wedding-reception-honeymoon hoopla is, the costs of all these events strike fear in the hearts of many, including my own. Every once in a while, I will catch myself getting sucked into the show A Wedding Story on The Learning Channel. I see these beautiful weddings and receptions and then hear about the price tag. There are thousands upon thousands of dollars thrown into putting on a successful wedding ceremony and reception. Coming from where I’m from, I can definitely see those thousands of dollars going to a better cause. I’m a broke college student, and anything will help.

Finances play a big part in the success of marriage, sophomore social work major, Najon Saina said.

“I think the main problem is if you’re financially stable,” Saina said. “Finances make the differences.”

Looking back, all these reasons have one simple thing in common and that is fear. I am terrified to walk down the aisle. It scares the hell out of me to think that one day I’ll be committing my entire life to one man. Maybe some of that fear would ease if the divorce percentages weren’t skyrocketing or if I hadn’t seen the divorce statistics within my own parents’ marriage. Either way, it’s going to take a lot more than fluffy dresses and expensive cakes to win me over.

Oneika Richardson can be reached at [email protected]