Sex is good without the relationship

Oneika Richardson

It’s almost like it happened overnight. One day I was in a committed relationship with my boyfriend and the next, we were having a falling out. This falling out introduced the idea of sex without a relationship or casual sex.

Casual sex is and always will be a popular topic of conversation. I always viewed casual sex as a problem and essentially the demise of monogamy. That is, until I looked around one day and realized I had been in a seven-month dry spell with no potential man to quench my thirst. And for those of you who have ventured into a dry spell you know it’s an uphill, sexually-charged battle but I digress.

Casual sex soon became an option because like every other human being, I craved affection of the physical nature. I didn’t miss having a relationship as much as I missed the sexual aspect being in one. As satisfying as it is, sex without a relationship or SWOR as I like to call it, introduces a whole, new host of problems.

My main problem is that I worry about people calling me out. I worry about what people will say or think. What woman in her right mind wants to be called a slut or a tramp?

Another problem I have is the boundary issue. It’s horrible to feel as though you have no say in what the other person does. “No matter how you feel, you’re not allowed to get jealous,” said Obatala Mawusi an undergraduate NYU student. That’s why it is important to establish boundaries early. Know what to expect from this pseudo-relationship and from one another.

Then there is the health issues that surround SWOR. “It [casual sex] opens up the door to problems,” said Jared Grimes a Criminal Justice major. “You’re putting yourself at risk for STDs.”

Regardless of what type of relationship you have, you don’t want to be caught out there without protection. With STDs running rampant, catching a case of syphilis is just not a good look. “Your best bet is to use a condom,” said Tenille Collins a Communications Major. Might I recommend Trojan Warming Sensation? Having those condoms handy is one less thing to worry about while reaping the benefits of SWOR.

And just what are the benefits of SWOR? The popular answer among men and women seems to be: easy access to sex. It’s the idea of knowing that good sex is just a phone call away. Even better, you get the physical needs of a relationship without all those pesky, emotional arguments.

Over time having sex outside the confines of a relationship become difficult to maintain. I’ve come across men who feel they have no obligations to the woman they are just having sex with. “You’re not my only girl unless you’re my girlfriend,” said Mawusi.

I don’t see a drawback with SWOR as long as it is committed sex. The minute I find out you’re giving up the goods to another girl, I’m out the door. I don’t ask you to call me your girlfriend and I sure as hell won’t call you my boyfriend but I thought we had an understanding.

It is this understanding that allows women to exercise their right to sleep with whomever they want. As long as it is done rationally and most importantly it is done safely.