I’ve noticed something recently. Walking through the halls and around campus, I’ve come to realize something that maybe everyone else already knows.

And I think you, yes you with the shirt, just might be a contributor to this growing epidemic. It’s called laziness, folks. Full fledged, slothful willingness to completely and apathetically take the shortest cut possible.

You can blame society for catering to the needs of the lazy, or you can blame technology for developing new ways to better achieve laziness, but some of the things I’ve seen around campus are just way over the line of respectable lethargy.

First and so incredibly foremost, is the backpack on wheels problem. Unless your homework is to bring 40 pounds of bricks to class, then your book bag should always be carried. I don’t care how lazy you are or aspire to be.

It’s not luggage. It’s not your chariot of educational knowledge that needs to be in everyone’s way. It’s not your pet that you’re taking for a walk on a sunny afternoon.

Pick the damn thing up and walk to class like a normal human being. Don’t tell me you have back problems because so does everyone else on the planet. Welcome to the club.

Most of you bag-draggers are probably so out of shape anyway that it’d do you some good to lift something heavier than a Big Mac now and then.

Second are those of you who grossly misuse campus elevators. Now, I don’t mean you folks who go to the top of Mendocino Hall or to the fourth floor of Amador, or even you strangely peculiar people going to the third floor of Capistrano.

It’s those of you who use the elevator to go up one flight of stairs. It’s those of you who feel the need to be magically transported 10 feet in air.

Maybe you just like that weird feeling you get in your stomach, I don’t know. But with all the time you spend standing there waiting for the elevator, you could’ve walked down those 18 stairs and be halfway to Burger King by the time it gets there.

I encourage everyone to ridicule anyone who gets in the elevator to go one floor during that oh-so-brief five second ride.

And finally, I’ve got to point my finger at some of you who abuse the handicapped. Well, not the actual disabled individuals themselves, but the on-campus amenities that have been provided solely for them.

I’m not talking about parking in handicapped spaces, I’m talking about the buttons that activate the doors. I’ll watch someone walk up, press the button and wait for the doors to open. Meanwhile, the rest of us saps are exerting energy to gain entrance.

What fools we have been. But seriously people, these are for people who can’t walk. Have any of you ever tried to open a door from a wheelchair and then maneuver a seven-point turn to get inside? Well, I haven’t either, but I’m betting it’s pretty tough. It’s time to stop being lazy and leave the handicapped facilities to the handicapped people.

So I guess all I’m saying is to be a little more aware of those around you when you choose to take the easy road. I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with riding a Segway around campus or simply tumbling down stairs to reach the bottom.

It’s when I get T-boned by your backpack in the hallway that causes a problem and that’s when you’ll need to reevaluate your situation. And for those of you addicted to the elevator like cheap crack, the time will come when there’s a fire, and when there is, they’ll probably find your charred and crispy ashes in a lazy pile in front of those steel shaft doors.

Josh Huggett can be reached at [email protected]