Life is so weird right now. 

I’m so single that I felt sexual tension from a guy picking up White Claws next to me at the grocery store. I thought we were about to kiss!   

I have had so much time on my hands over the past few months that I did what any wild bitch would do and created a very strategic PowerPoint on ways to improve my own dating life during a pandemic, so let’s break it down: 

Set your standards and remember YOU are the only you there is

You aren’t being weird for telling someone that you want a relationship, and you aren’t being an ass for saying you aren’t looking for something serious.

You WILL NOT get what you want if you don’t say or do something about it, trust me. 

Don’t be embarrassed or shy to embrace things that make you, YOU! Don’t be afraid to individualize yourself from others. If you spend your free time trying to learn every new TikTok dance, own that. 

Own who you are, it’s hot! 

Do. Not. Text. Your. Ex.

I’m telling you, more often than not, you will find that same feeling with someone else. Hell, it’ll probably be even better. 

I know this is a tough pill to swallow, but why would you try to prove yourself again to someone who took you for granted when they had you? 

Dating Apps

Dating apps are like picking out dolls at the toy store. All of the dolls in the aisle are showcased through a box and intended to capture your interest. Once you pick out your favorite doll, you press down a button on its hand for it to talk, and the doll spits out absolute bullshit!

I matched with this really hot guy who sent me a pickup line ripping on the gym I worked at because he went to a more “elite” gym than me.

I get it dude, you lift. There is no need to flex harder in my DMs. 

Unmatched. 

Pandemic-friendly dates

Any outdoor activity is a great casual date suggestion. Go for a bike ride or a hike. There are so many beautiful waterfalls and hiking trails in California.

I recently got a bike and have been cruising all around Sacramento. Sometimes when I’m riding past the rose garden at the State Capitol, I make up scenarios about how romantic it would be biking with a boy.

Another date idea is to go for a socially-distanced picnic in the evening. Bring a bottle of wine and paint the sunset. There is nothing more romantic than golden hour followed by a sunset. 

Give me a glass of wine or two and I will feel like I’m pulling off some Bob Ross paintings. If you think you’re bad at art, you aren’t. Just tell your date that your painting is abstract. 

Intimacy but make it virtual

Hearing someone’s voice is such a turn-on to me. If you are nervous to FaceTime or call someone, send a voice message. It mixes up regular texting and adds a little zest. 

Snapchat a picture of yourself wearing a cute shirt in your crush’s favorite color and tell them it made you think of them. They won’t be able to get you off their mind all day.

Don’t get down on yourself if things don’t work out

Remember not everyone will love qualities about you, and that is OK! A friend of mine once told me, “Boys are like buses, there’s always going to be another bus to come pick you up.” Someone is going to love you for all your qualities, so don’t trip too much and go out and get what you deserve!

Be kind! And be awesome! You’re all hot, ily. <3