There is a difference between having sex and having the sex you want to have.

Having sex is healthy but that’s only if it’s actually stimulating to you. And by stimulating I mean it is something that turns you on.

Everyone can have a quickie on the third floor of the parking structure but that really doesn’t do the trick. Sure, the guy gets off but the girl just gets to stand or crouch in some awkward position and try to look interested. Guys, she’s not.

When I first started having sex, my boyfriend and I would end up in some really strange and somewhat public places. Needless to say, all of my early sexual experiences were quickies and not satisfying. It wasn’t until years later that I realized sex could be so much better when two people weren’t rushing and actually took the time to please each other.

College sex can be quite similar. Unless you are lucky enough to have no job and your own room, you are always rushing from class to work to sleep and to class again, and have no time for the sex you actually fantasize about having.

There are ways to change this, so stop having bad sex and listen up.

First and foremost, you need to release the beast. Inside every man and woman there is a sexual beast just waiting to be unleashed – the problem is most people are too ashamed or nervous to be themselves. They think their personal turn-ons would be considered too strange and they would get rejected. No. You just need to find someone who shares your fantasy – you aren’t the only person who has a fetish.

Next, you need to experiment and find your boundaries – that way when you do have your fantasy sex you’ll be able to be in control and know when to stop.

If you and your current partner aren’t having the sex you’d like to have, then talk to them. You need to be open and honest if you want to get what you want and, if your partner refuses, maybe it’s time to think about your relationship.

Sex isn’t the most important thing in a relationship but it is important. If you aren’t being satisfied sexually, you are just settling. You need to find someone who lets you explore your desires, not smother them.

Don’t be afraid to be yourself. Having sex should be something you put passion into, not just tolerate until it’s over.