Reader be advised: Sierra’s Spicy Takes is, as the kids might say, NSFW. Read at your own discretion.

Q: “My boyfriend is less experienced sexually than I am, but he wants me to finger his ass. I’ve never done it before but I feel like he expects great things from me. I’m scared I’ll do it wrong or that he won’t like it. I know communication is key and it’s not the actual act that makes me nervous but more so that I’m scared for the initial penetration. How do I get over my anal anxiety?”

• Anally Anxious

A: I am living for this question!

I’ve never gotten to be with a boy that has verbalized wanting a finger in his ass so my immediate response is to be jealous of you. It’s the unicorn situation that I’ve been subconsciously chasing my whole life.

On a more serious note, if you truly don’t feel comfortable with something, you shouldn’t do it. However, I get the sense that you’re just scared to start.

I get it, I’m sure that’s an intimidating thing.

I took a boy’s virginity once and I was ridiculously worried that he would be disappointed or that I would emotionally scar him for the rest of his life. I’m sure you’re feeling something similar.

Spoiler alert: everything turned out fine (even if he did take too long to cum).

The best we can do is take people at their word. If he’s telling you he wants your fingers in his ass, and you feel okay about your fingers being in someone’s rectum, I would go for it. Even if you’re a little scared.

Sierra’s Guide to Ass Play:

• TAKE YOUR TIME! There is no rush when it comes to anal penetration, especially for the first time. Give you and your partner the time to adjust to a new set of scenery.
• Breathe! A big part of adjusting is going to be remembering to breathe and relax. You’re both going to be unsure but nervous clenching won’t make anything fun. I recommend inhaling and while exhaling slowly, let your rectum become less tight by relaxing your body’s muscles.
• Use basic lubricant! The rectum is not self-lubricating so you’ll want to add in moisture if you don’t want to squeak in centimeter by centimeter.
• Most lubes are fine in my opinion but don’t use anything flavored as they’re often times sticky and make for an unpleasant cleanup.
• Don’t be afraid of gross things! Ass play is high-risk, high reward. You can clean yourself appropriately and know yourself to most likely avoid any actual feces but you’ll never be able to avoid the fact that air that’s being inevitably pushed into your ass will eventually have to escape. “Farts” are a common thing for every single person who has ever had anal. Anyone else telling you different is lying.
• Have fun! Keeping all of these things in mind, the first time is a little weird. However, with a little practice, you might find that this is something that you both enjoy!

If you still have questions, I highly recommend Teen Vogue’s guide to anal sex, which covers a lot of ground.

Is there something I missed? Write below and let me know. Wishing a fantastic and poo-free experience for all my readers who decide to experiment but especially for you, Anally Anxious!

If you have better advice for me or for my readers, please write in and your responses may be published. Don’t forget to submit your questions here or below and come back next week to read more Spicy Takes with Sierra!