SPICY TAKES: ‘Slut’ is a made up word

Never listen to an incel

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SPICY TAKES: ‘Slut’ is a made up word

Meet the face behind the new advice column at The State Hornet

Meet the face behind the new advice column at The State Hornet "Sierra's Spicy Takes," Sierra Savage.

Photo and illustrations by Emily Rabasto - The State Hornet

Meet the face behind the new advice column at The State Hornet "Sierra's Spicy Takes," Sierra Savage.

Photo and illustrations by Emily Rabasto - The State Hornet

Photo and illustrations by Emily Rabasto - The State Hornet

Meet the face behind the new advice column at The State Hornet "Sierra's Spicy Takes," Sierra Savage.

Sierra Savage

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Reader be advised: Sierra’s Spicy Takes is, as the kids might say, NSFW. Read at your own discretion.

All I currently want to talk about is Tidying up with Marie Kondo. I’m obsessed. Not only are her tidying skills on point but her emphasis on self-acceptance is iconic and has soothed my soul after a long week.

Self-acceptance and self-love are things that I think we all struggle with. Let’s talk about a specific form of this.

Self slut shaming is toxic and something that we should all stop doing.

Q: I recently started dating casually but I tend to feel “slutty” after I do it. Should sleeping around make me feel this way?

  • Feels Bad Man

A: My short answer is no, it shouldn’t because “slut” is a made-up word and having fun is real.

To be clear, as long as you’re both (or all) being safe and are consenting adults, I don’t see the issue anyone should take with you. Even if someone takes issue with you, that’s OK because there are billions of other people on the planet for you to possibly mesh with.

A lot of the things that people once believed about promiscuity have been disproven. Let me scream it for the incels on Twitter; having sex does not stretch out your vagina because it is a muscle and that’s just not how anatomy works!

Hopefully, we all know this, and so the real problem I think you have is that you feel this way about yourself.

I’ve probably talked about this before, but I didn’t have much experience before Eli. When I first started having sex with other people, I felt weird and gross about myself afterward.

RELATEDSierra’s Spicy Takes: Am I too boring for my girlfriend?

I’m not sure why I did because I’ve always been a sex-positive person. Rationalizing and processing these emotions were the keys to moving past them.

Realizing that I was OK with where I was at was really important for me and will most likely be important for you too.

On another note, don’t date people just because you feel like you should. Sometimes being alone is just fine (and can be more sexually fulfilling, if that’s what you’re looking for).

At the end of the day, you should be doing things that make you feel good, whether that be casually dating, processing your emotions and feelings, or binge-watching Tidying up with Marie Kondo like I did all day.

Best wishes, Feels Bad Man. I believe in you and your choices!

If you have better advice for me or for my readers, please write in and your responses may be published. Don’t forget to submit your questions here or below and come back next week to read more Spicy Takes with Sierra!

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