I’ll skip to the part of this review that all of you probably care about the most: No, there is no post-credits scene in “Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice.” There. I just saved you from having to pull out your phone in the theater, blinding yourself when you try to look up whether or not you need to sit through the scrolling names of 6,000 visual effects artists.

The movie delivers on everything a superhero movie of this magnitude promises: fantastic violence, thunderous explosions and the computer-generated imagery of the destruction of several skyscrapers.

The film is directed by Zack Snyder—“300,” “Watchmen” and “Man of Steel”— and stars Ben Affleck as Bruce Wayne/Batman, Henry Cavill as Clark Kent/Superman, and Amy Adams as Lois Lane.

By now the news has traveled far and wide that Snyder’s “Batman v Superman” is a critical dud; critics tore the film apart with glee shortly before its global theatrical release. The New York Times called the plot “overstuffed and preposterous.” David Edelstein at Vulture called it “a storytelling disgrace,” going so far as to diagnose the film with a bad case of “disjunctivitis,” jumping from subplot to subplot. And, most damning of all, a horde of over 200 critics at Rotten Tomatoes ranked the film “Rotten,” for an overall critics’ score of 29 percent.

Affleck’s sadness over the reviews even went viral when an interviewer asked if he and Cavill had heard the bad news. Perhaps he was having flashbacks to 2003, the ill-fated year of “Gigli” and “Daredevil.”

But do reviews like this matter in a blockbuster this big? Not so much, according to Sacramento State sophomore computer engineering major Thomas Van Bergen.

“People are going to see what they want to see,” Van Bergen said. “There’s so much comic book history that people just want to go see Batman fight Superman. They’re there for the CGI and not for the plot.”

If moviegoers aren’t there for the plot, then that’s probably for the best. The plot in this film is an absolute mess. Keeping up with the jumps in the story is an impossible task in the theater. Watching the movie on DVD, with the ability to rewind, pause and scratch your head, would be a much more manageable experience.

The film transitions a little too seamlessly between reality and dream sequences. The dream scenes, while they might be enjoyable on their own, are disorienting and frustrating interruptions to the flow of the movie.

The plot devices scattered through the film range from cheap and obvious to baffling and pointless. The most alarming example in the latter category involves a cameo from a time-travelling superhero offering Batman a cryptic hint, all during a dream within a dream. I can only assume that Snyder added this in as an attempt to appeal to “Inception” fans who mistake the nonsensical for the profound.

For those who fancy guys, there are two fleeting moments of superhuman shirtlessness from both Affleck and Cavill. For everyone else, there’s one strange bathtub scene in which Amy Adams’ elusive nipples almost make an appearance several times.

Even for those who can stomach the extra cost and eye strain of 3D, “Batman v Superman” only makes a few token visual efforts to take advantage of it, so I suggest seeing it in plain old 2D.

My final verdict: if you have any desire to see this film, then see it while it’s still in theaters. The movie has nothing to offer on the small screen, so treat yo’ self. Lean back in the theater, feel the soothing vibrations of the Dolby surround sound, and enjoy the bright lights as you watch two spandex-clad titans beat the snot out of each other.