On a cold, rainy December morning, freshman Amy White sits in the Academic Information Resources Center basking in the combined glow from the screen of her laptop and the lights from the Christmas tree just inches away from her seat.

The self-proclaimed Christmas-lover, a business major, doesn’t notice the blond angel perched atop the tree. But maybe it’s better that way. She’s an atheist – she doesn’t believe in angels.

Or the baby Jesus, for that matter. But she still celebrates Christmas with her family, some of whom claim to be religious but “don’t really practice.”

“People are surprised that I really love Christmas, but I’m not religious,” she said. “They kind of get confused.”

As an atheist, White is part of a group of students on campus who may find themselves in a sort of purgatory during the holiday season, somewhere between celebrating Christmas as an explicitly religiousholiday and as a holiday celebrating traditions of love, family and giving.

Matt McCormick, an associate professor of philosophy who teaches a seminar on atheism, said many atheists can feel frustrated, discouraged and depressed during the holidays being surrounded by what they see as “people openly indulging in these make-believe stories (of religion).”

McCormick grew up in a Christian family, and said many atheists run into problems with family members whose holiday traditions may include religious practices like attending church services on Christmasmorning or prayer at the dinner table.

“Lots of non-believers I know have friction with family at this time of year,” McCormick said. “Non-belief is not really on people’s radar as a worthwhile, viable alternative, although it’s changing. I think it’s getting there.”

Sophomore Kelsey Bardini, a social work major, leads a Bible study with InterVarsity Christian Fellowship, a student group on campus. She has an aunt who is agnostic and gets frustrated whenever religion is brought up. Agnostics believe there may or may not be a God, but that it is impossible to prove conclusively either way.

In 2005, Bardini’s aunt was suffering from ovarian and breast cancer. As a Christmas gift, Bardini and her family decided to give her aunt a scarf made by her grandmother and prayed over by people at her church, one of her family’s religious Christmas traditions.

“(The scarf) keeps your spirit warm because people have prayed over it, so it’s like people have prayed for you,” she said, admitting she should have considered her aunt’s religious views more carefully before giving her the scarf.

“She took it, but I don’t think she ever wears it,” Bardini said. “I don’t think she sees any meaning in it.”

Bardini said her family has adjusted its Christmas traditions to be considerate of her aunt, something many families of mixed beliefs have to do during the holiday season.

Senior philosophy major Carlo Sclippa is an atheist with a Catholic extended family. Although he said most members of his family never talk about religion, some take extra care not to bring it up during the holidays.

“When people (in my family) come together, they put their beliefs aside,” he said. “They don’t want to ruin the dinner table.”

Bardini said while she has no problem with non-believers celebrating Christmas, she wishes more people took time to consider what Christmas means to Christians.

“It would be cool if (non-Christians) took time to respect what the holiday is made for: Jesus’ birth,” Bardini said.

She said people should “develop an opinion about Jesus,” even if it’s not the same as hers.

“They don’t have to convert,” she said.

Bardini also said Christmas should not be a holiday exclusively for Christians, because it has a significant place in American culture, too.

Some say that when the religion is removed from Christmas, all that’s left is crass commercialism.

Senior Dean Meier, a philosophy major and atheist, said retailers are hypocritical and insensitive during the Christmas season.

“They say they can’t support one (specific) religious view, but they flood the senses with (images of) the birth of the Christ child,” he said.

Meier avoids the “capitalist event” of Christmas as much as possible by not giving presents to anyone except his mother, father and two daughters – for the sake of tradition and out of respect for their beliefs.

“Christmas is for kids, old people and capitalists,” he said.

Even some believers agreed.

Claudia Reis, junior nursing major, said she was annoyed by the Christmas wishes on the Giving Tree in the University Union, which allows children affected in some way by HIV or AIDS to submit gift requests. Some of the wishes on the tree were practical or simple, but others read: “portable DVD player,” “iPod Nano,” “Madden2008 for Xbox” and “Xbox Live certificate.”

Other Christians said the commercialization of Christmas is a distraction from its real meaning. Bardini has experienced both sides of the holiday, because she didn’t grow up Christian.

“Christmas was more about gifts as a kid,” she said. “(Now), because of my religion and because of me being religious…Christmas has a more special meaning.”

Alex German, a junior child development major, said she wasn’t sure why atheists would celebrate Christmas in the first place.

“Christmas is such a religious holiday to me,” she said. “I don’t know what (non-believers) are really celebrating.”

Freshman Caleb Peterson, a communication studies major, said non-believers who celebrate Christmas are missing the point of the holiday.

“I think they’re missing out on the gift God has given us,” he said.

Sclippa said he doesn’t have a problem participating in the secular aspects of Christmas without the accompanying religion.

“You can play (Dungeons and Dragons) and not believe in it,” he said. “I have no problems going along with tradition….Life would be pretty dull with no holidays.”

Other atheists said their Christmas celebrations are essentially the same as those of their religious friends or relatives.

White said her first Christmas after officially declaring herself an atheist was “no different.” She said the holiday has always been more about tradition for her.

McCormick said during the holiday season, his home looks identical to the homes of many Christians.

“There’s a lot of people out there who aren’t real heavily, explicitly religious,” he said. “And I think my house would just look like theirs in a lot of ways.”

And what he’ll do in his house this Christmas will probably be similar to what most believers will do – for the most part.

“Got a tree, gonna do presents on Christmas morning, have family over, have a big dinner.”

He paused.

“No prayers. No grace. No baby Jesus.” He paused again, then laughed.

Cody Kitaura can be reached at [email protected].