They can’t score on anybody, but they sure can bash each other

The Giants manhandled the 49ers 33-10 on Sunday, sending San Francisco to its fourth straight loss after it started the season 2-0. Quarterback Trent Dilfer probably wishes he had sat this one out because the Giants punished the veteran quarterback all day to the tune of six sacks, two lost fumbles and two interceptions. I have almost run out of ways to say how pathetic and ugly San Francisco’s offense is. It’s more likely that we’ll see Britney Spears open up a child daycare center before San Francisco scores 30 points this season.

To make matters worse, running back Frank Gore said he and his teammates have some doubts about the plays called by offensive coordinator Jim Hostler, while head coach Mike Nolan spoke critically of Dilfer’s performance. In Dilfer’s defense, it’s hard to play quarterback when you’re getting knocked around like a cheap piñata. But if players and coaches are going to start taking shots at each other in the media, things could actually get worse for the 49ers (although they’re pretty close to rock bottom already).

Meanwhile, the Giants have rattled off five straight wins and, after they play winless Miami next week, should go into their bye at 6-2. Maybe the Cowboys will have a little competition for NFC champion after all.

Unfortunately, Raider players still get paid for the whole game

Speaking of worthless offenses, the other Bay Area team laid quite an egg of its own. The Raiders managed 10 points on Kansas City Sunday, despite dominating the Chiefs defensively and limiting them to 12. Quarterback Daunte Culpepper was supposed to find his old Pro Bowl self in the Silver and Black, but he has been pretty underwhelming since taking over the offense in week 4. He’s averaged only 162.5 passing yards per game, and the Raiders’ receivers didn’t do him any favors Sunday by dropping passes all afternoon. The worst of them all came when Ronald Curry dropped a ball that would have been a sure touchdown in the third quarter. What makes the Raiders particularly frustrating is that they have had a 4th quarter lead in three of their four losses, including the one on Sunday. I hear Yankees closer Mariano Rivera is about to be a free agent: Maybe they should sign him to come in at quarterback late in the game. At least he knows how to finish.

Texas shootout

In what may have been the wildest and most unbelievable game of the year, Tennessee beat Houston 38-36 on Sunday after losing a 25-point lead in the 4th quarter. Quarterback Vince Young missed the game due to injury (how about that Madden curse?) and Kerry Collins started the game in his place. Collins played strongly and the Titans ran the ball effectively for three quarters to get the big lead. Houston quarterback Matt Schaub was knocked out of the game in the 1st half, and Sage Rosenfels, who was bad enough to get waived by Miami two years ago, had to take over the offense in his place. Amazingly, Rosenfels threw four touchdowns in the fourth quarter to bring the Texans back into the game and completed the comeback when he threw the go-ahead touchdown pass with 57 seconds to go to make it 36-35. Collins then marched the Titans right back down the field to the 11-yard line and Rob Bironas kicked his eighth field goal of the afternoon, an NFL record, to win the game as time expired. I feel tired just writing about it?

The show must go on

There’s not usually much of a reason to talk about a team when it is coming off of a bye, but the Chargers are making news for something unrelated to football. As many readers surely have heard, wildfires are blazing across southern California and reportedly over 500,000 people have been evacuated from their homes so far. Included among those evacuees are many Chargers players who live in the San Diego area. Running back and defending MVP LaDainian Tomlinson, quarterback Philip Rivers and tight end Antonio Gates were among those who were forced to leave their houses, and the Chargers’ team practices have been moved to Arizona for the week as fires rage all around the San Diego area. San Diego was scheduled to host the Texans on Sunday, but it’s unclear if the game will still take place there. The NFL is waiting to see if conditions improve before making a decision. If the game cannot be held at Qualcomm Stadium in San Diego, the teams will play in Arizona, Dallas, Houston or Los Angeles.

Many fans might remember that the Chargers faced a similar situation in 2003, when an Oct. 27 matchup against the Dolphins had to be moved to Arizona because of San Diego wildfires. Admission to the game was free and fans that attended were asked to give donations for disaster relief, which totaled about $200,000. If the Houston game, scheduled to take place almost exactly four years later on Oct. 28, has to be moved, let’s hope that the fans in that city will be just as generous this time around.

NFL Picks: Week 8

Week 7 Picks: 2-2; Season Overall: 15-9

Here are some notable games coming up in week 8 (Odds as posted on Yahoo! Sports Oct. 24):

Jacksonville at Tampa Bay (-4) – The battle of in-state rivals will be an interesting one, because both teams are coming off of tough losses. The Jaguars were pummeled by the Colts on Monday night, while the Bucs lost to the Lions after some key turnovers that led to touchdowns on Sunday. Jacksonville quarterback David Garrard is hurt and might be out for a month, so the Jaguars are going to need to run the ball if they want to have any chance of winning this game. Tampa, on the other hand, will have no running game because its top two backs, “Cadillac” Williams and Michael Pittman, are injured. I give the edge to Bucs quarterback Jeff Garcia and the passing game in this one, but the Jaguars’ stout defense will keep it close.

My Pick: Tampa Bay 17-13

Philadelphia at Minnesota (+1) – Philadelphia was stunned by Chicago last week, losing the lead with nine seconds to go after the Bears ended a 97-yard drive with a touchdown. Minnesota lost by ten to Dallas, but the game was much closer than that. If not for a blocked kick that the Cowboys returned for a touchdown, Minnesota may have pulled off the upset. Eagles quarterback Donovan McNabb has been having a down year, but even he should be able to rip up the Vikings’ last-ranked pass defense. Minnesota won’t be able to use running back Adrian Peterson to much success against Philly’s strong rush defense, and quarterback Tarvaris Jackson doesn’t scare anybody.

My Pick: Philadelphia 20-14

Buffalo at New York Jets (-3) – The Jets under head coach Eric “Mangenius” Mangini made the playoffs last year, but have started out 1-6 and prospects for this season look bleak. The Bills are, well? the Bills. They are a franchise with one of the most loyal fan bases even though they haven’t made the playoffs this decade. But rejoice, Bills fans, because I see a victory in the immediate future for your team. Buffalo will run all over the Jets’ terrible run defense and will win this one in the 4th quarter in a back-and-forth afternoon in New York.

My Pick: Buffalo 23-20

“Bet the Farm” Lock of the Week: New York Giants at Miami (+9.5) – It’s unfair to call this a home game for Miami, because it’s not even going to take place in the United States. This Sunday’s matchup will be the first-ever regular season NFL game played on a different continent, taking place in Wembley Stadium in London. Miami just lost running back Ronnie Brown for the season, who had been the only bright spot so far for the winless Dolphins, and is about to run head-on into a freight train against the Giants. New York has won five in a row and can basically impose its will through the air or on the ground against the hapless Dolphins. If you have any Giants players on your fantasy team, start them this week, because it’s going to be an ugly one.

My Pick: New York 30-13

Fantasy Game-Breaker: Steelers Quarterback Ben Roethlisberger vs. Cincinnati – Big Ben has had a big season thus far, averaging just over two passing touchdowns per game. Cincinnati is infamous for having a poor defense, but last week the offense finally started clicking again in the Bengals’ 38-31 win against the Jets. And since the Steelers were just lit up by Denver for 31 points, I expect this game to be pretty high-scoring. Roethlisberger never passes for a ton of yardage, but he’ll be around 250 yards with three touchdowns against the Bengals. Pittsburgh receiver Santonio Holmes makes a good play this week as well, having already caught four of Roethlisberger’s 13 touchdown passes this season.

Fernando Gallo can be reached at [email protected]