In reading about the deteriorating health and finally the death of Pope John Paul II, I found myself, a non-Catholic, moved to tears.

Pope John Paul II was very conservative in his interpretation of Catholicism, taking conservative stances on abortion, birth control, divorce, euthanasia, gay marriage and ordination of women. These are the things Catholics will be thinking about as they mourn the loss of the only pope many of them have known. Questions about the future direction of the Catholic Church have already begun to surface.

The cardinals of the church will elect the next pope within twenty days following John Paul’s death, taking into consideration the priorities of the church in the years to come.

Some Catholics fear that the church will choose a pope with a more modern approach than that of John Paul, which would be an irreversible mistake. The Catholic Church’s membership has grown to more than 1 billion people from 750 million at the beginning of the last papacy because of John Paul’s untiring travel to third world countries. For the church to suddenly embrace a more modern agenda would be almost like saying that the pope and the church have been wrong about their teachings.

Catholics expect the most religious of their faith to be rock solid on conservative matters; the followers are those who may choose whether to listen and obey, but the leaders are expected to be unwavering.

Catholicism has been struggling in Western societies that have become largely materialistic, but the focus should be on the newly converted followers who have chosen the religion rather than those who have had the religion handed down to them from previous generations. The newly converted are likely to begin questioning their faith if the church begins questioning itself, whereas long-time Catholics may say, “I’m Catholic, but I believe in birth control,” or divorce, or whatever teaching they have decided doesn’t apply to them.

These Easter and Christmas Catholics will continue to attend church at their own convenience, yet they seem unwilling to renounce the religion altogether, which may be the case in Latin America where Pentecostal churches are gathering momentum.

Individual Catholics may have disagreed with the pope on his conservative views, but they grew to respect him, as did I, and will sincerely mourn his death as they await the decision that could either change the church forever in the eyes of its followers, or that could keep its newly converted devotees devoted.

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Rebecca Adler can be reached at [email protected]