I recently discovered that not all women share my view of sex. The only person I will ever have sex with is the woman I marry. Sex is being as close to a person as physically possible. In my ideal world she will allow me where no other man has been and where no other man can go for as long as we’re both alive.

I had a conversation with a woman about abstaining from sex until marriage and she seemed perplexed. “How will you know if your wife is any good?” she asked. “Well, it’s not like I’ll have anyone to compare her to,” I thought. Heck, who’s to say I’ll be that good? To my future wife: I won’t worry about this if you don’t. We’ll have the rest of our lives to learn from each other.

Julie Harju, sex columnist for The State Hornet, described potential in-class fantasies about threesomes with the “hot chicks” seated at neighboring desks. “There’s nothing wrong with checking out the broody, artistic-looking guy in the back row and wondering what he would look like naked… or how it would feel to screw him in the elevator between classes,” Harju wrote. “As long as it’s just a fantasy, significant others have no cause to complain.” I don’t share that view.

Obviously, I can’t control images that involuntarily pop into my head. But the idea of purposely entertaining myself with erotic fantasies about random “hot chicks” while having a wife or girlfriend strikes me as sleazy. It’s certainly nothing for which I wouldn’t expect her to feel hurt or inadequate. Harju urges her readers to “forget about being guilty, and just enjoy being human.” Sex and its desires are a reality of nature aren’t they? Harju may disagree, but creating scenarios of a classmate “licking your inner-thigh in your imagination” brings someone else into that exclusive territory, at least in spirit.

I view the nature of sex as I do that of the ocean, an overwhelming force of beauty. But the nature of sex can be a natural disaster if not treated with respect. For my future wife and myself, I expect it to be the physical embodiment of our monogamy.

Sexuality is a unique territory for two people who have vowed to remain united through all of life’s tribulations. Financial strain, social entanglements and health crises can easily impose themselves. The single aspect of a marriage that can remain constant is that one strip of territory that only you and your spouse have ever owned.

As for the right girl, I haven’t found her yet but know she’s out there. I doubt that we’ll be dependant on a lot of kinky stuff because our sex life won’t be based in novel excitement from raw impulses. Its foundation will be in an unbreakable pact that will get us through the Mt. Everest of hardships. I may have no clue as to when I’ll be entering that pact, but I know it will have been worth the wait.