The Writing Proficiency Exam that all students of this school are forced to take is a failure on many levels. The WPE is worthless and a plague to students because it is a standardized test (which really is pointless); the question and the literature to support your argument is about as informative as a tenured Sacramento State professor and the people who administer the WPE are cold-hearted, unimaginative bastards.

The WPE is Sac State?s equivalent of an extra value meal?it?s a one size fits all test. It hinders creativity and does not operate on the basis of any logic. The advice people gave me before taking the test (for the second time), was to write a rudimentary boring essay. What is the point of that? It makes no sense to force someone to write a rudimentary essay when they have already been through several writing classes on the college level. The first time I took the exam I made the mistake of attacking the relevance of the question and materials (it was at 8 a.m. in the morning, I was a little grouchy).

When it comes down to it, I don?t want to waste my time writing an essay about whether drugs should be legalized, whether or not foreign language should be taught in high school, or whether spanking is okay.

It is difficult to argue the pros and cons of an issue that you don?t agree with, couldn?t care less about, and are completely uninformed on (aside from the information they provide for you). The two-sided Xeroxed copy they provide you, while very entertaining because it?s on colored paper, is about as useless as a campus radio station with the wattage of a two-way radio.

According to the WPE, maybe I should accept the fact that I am a moron. Throughout the course of my college experience I have only taken seven or eight writing and English classes, all of which I have passed with A?s and B?s. And yet this one test dictates that I am a moron, at least as far as the University is concerned.

Where do they find the people that administer the exam? It?s bad enough having to cough up 25 bucks to take a useless test the University requires. But having to listen to the test givers from the Dean Junkyard (a.k.a. the Testing Center), and their feeble attempts at humor, makes me want to go Oedipus Rex and gouge my eyeballs out with my pen and then wipe up the blood with the pages from my pocket dictionary.

“You know if you spell your name right, that’s half the test right there.” Ha, ha, ha. You slay me man?I mean it. It?s right up there with vintage Bob Hope or Milton Berle. I nearly soiled myself.

These are some of the many reasons why the WPE should be eliminated. The test is stupid, the questions and information that are provided are lame, and the people who administer the tests are morons.

Matt Wagar is a Journalism Major and in all likely probability will be enrolling in English 109W in the Fall 2001 semester. He is also the news editor of The State Hornet and can be reached via e-mail at [email protected].