OPINION: A guide to building self-confidence

You have to start living your life as the main character


Lauren Vannucci

Graphic made in Canva.

Lauren Vannucci

I just know that middle school me would think that present-day me is the coolest bitch ever. 

My growth as a person has completely transformed all aspects of my life and I FINALLY feel like I am becoming the person I have always wanted to be. 

Let’s take a few steps back… 

I may look like a confident and trendy queen (which I am), but what if I told you I have crippling anxiety? What if I told you I have struggled with a learning disability my whole life? What if I told you I have previously struggled with acne and body image? 

Stop being so hard on yourself, you’re doing the best you can 

In school, I have always coasted by. I have gotten good, but not great grades, I am a HORRIBLE test taker, I get easily overwhelmed by tasks or assignments and I tune out my professors the second I walk into class.

I’ve suffered with anxiety since high school and also have severe ADHD that did not get diagnosed until my senior year of college. I remember my doctor looking me in the eyes saying, “you should be so proud of yourself for making it this far without any help because you are extremely intelligent.” 

Well golly gee! I have never had someone call me intelligent before. I didn’t know how to act when she said that. I’m pretty sure I just started to cry, lol. 

I had a terrible body image of myself for years. I started dance at a young age and was constantly looking at myself and comparing myself to my peers. I picked myself apart. 

I’m not asking for anyone’s sympathy, because here’s the thing: I was letting these “setbacks” hold me back from my highest potential and I realized I needed to boss the hell up. 

Positive Emotions Equal Better Performance

The more highly you think of yourself, the more of a positive outlook you will have on life. 

Sure, some people might think I’m self-obsessed, full of myself or snobby. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but I really do love myself. 

Acknowledge your own accomplishments. We have to start normalizing talking highly about ourselves in this toxic society. 

I get it, it’s really hard to acknowledge other people’s successes, especially if you might not be where you want to be, but don’t let your own jealousy and insecurities get in the way of other people’s happiness.

Get to know yourself again

Once I took pressure off being obsessed with health and fitness, everything else came naturally to me. I stopped wishing I could be prettier, skinnier, richer or have better style. I realized that I had to be the change. I stopped saying “once I look a certain way I will do this” because I realized the time is NOW.  

I revisited an old passion for fashion of mine and forgot how much I loved creating my own personal style.

I started dressing up in quarantine every day as if I were going to my dream job, even if it was just to go on my daily trip to Target to remind everyone in Sacramento who the main character is!

Confidence tips:

  • Self-affirmations work!
  • Gentle reminder for today: have you drunk any water? Have you eaten? Have you moved your body? Remember to treat yourself with kindness. 
  • Do something nice for someone else. Pay it forward. 
  • Turn on some Megan Thee Stallion and leave them on read sis. 
  • Go ahead, treat yourself.
  • It’s all about speaking it into existence baby!

Manifest that shit

I started to actually believe the things I was telling myself. 

I am smart. I am capable. I am beautiful. And I deserve to be happy. 

I made a vision board of where I want to see myself in the next 5 years. I want to move to a new city, do PR in the beauty industry, be able to afford my own aesthetic, travel and be surrounded by friends and family.

Maybe it seems like I’m daydreaming about unrealistic things that may not happen, but those things that once seemed out of reach for me are starting to become my reality.

I have learned so much along the way of my personal happiness journey. I hope this motivates all of you sexy things to step out of your comfort zone today. You are so special. You matter. You are going to do great things! 

Be Kind! And be awesome! You’re all hot, ily <3