Reader be advised: Sierra’s Spicy Takes is, as the kids might say, NSFW. Read at your own discretion.

Another week, another edition of Spicy Takes. Time to get right into the tea!

Q: “Alright, so you’ve covered some tips on how to give a good blowjob. But as a guy, I’m wondering what feels best for you when receiving oral? I love to go down on my girlfriend and want to make it as good as possible for her. Is it just as simple as focusing on her clit? How do I give the best oral to my girlfriend?”

• Velvet Milkman

A: When Eli and I broke up, I had little experience with other people. I had decided that it was time for the slutaissance. I downloaded Tinder and got to work.

My first victim was someone we will call Brian. He was in San Francisco and was just a decent looking emo boy. I later found out that he was doing an internship in San Francisco, but was actually from Canada and would be going back soon. The perfect person to help me get over my ex with. Easy and noncommittal.

We decided to meet at Emo Nite. They are held every fourth Wednesday at the Press Club and if you like quality pop punk and subpar emo, it’s the event for you.

He didn’t drive because he didn’t have a car, so he took the Megabus up to Sacramento. And I don’t drive, because I trust absolutely nobody to operate tons of metal at high speeds including myself, so I was with a friend. It’s also a great idea to have a friend with you if you’re unsure about meeting someone in real life.

I walked in and found him easily. He had pastel-colored hair so it wasn’t very difficult.

The entire time was really weird. We tried to talk but it was really loud and I don’t think either of us were actually interested in each other’s thoughts.

We got back to my place. Because I was basically new at things again, I just let us sit and talk for hours before anything happened. I don’t think either of us enjoyed this part of the evening, but I wasn’t confident enough to verbally address the fact that we were both just there to hookup.

Finally, things started happening and he initiated going down on me.

MY. MIND. WAS. BLOWN.

It was something that Eli had only really done a few times, and I guess I had just trained myself to not expect anything like that. Looking back, it was only OK.

The most memorable part of our time together came next when we started having sex. He was really gentle and that’s not usually my preference, so I asked him to go faster. He paused and then said, “What?” I distinctly remember thinking to myself, “You know what? Nevermind.” He finished soon after and I ended up sleeping on the couch.

The next day we walked to my favorite sandwich shop and then I left him at the Megabus stop. I haven’t heard from him since.     

The moral of the story is some girls are gonna be impressed with any effort and other girls care more about actual skill.

I can’t give you any tips that will work for all girls. In my experience, girls are more difficult to please than men are when it comes to oral. However, I think communicating with your girlfriend is going to be the key to your success.

Q: “So, a coworker and I have sort of been seeing each other for a little bit. We always said, ‘Hey, it’s not that serious, I just like spending time with you.’ and if we wanted to date another person, to be blunt and say so, it didn’t mean we had to stop seeing each other, just that we wanted to test the waters with someone else. Recently, I’ve found myself wanting to test the waters with ANOTHER coworker (messy right?) We get along, and they seem really sincere. Plus there are a few barriers with the person I’m seeing that would keep our relationship from progressing that isn’t a problem with the person I’m interested in. The person I’ve been seeing apparently found out that we were interested in each other before I had a chance to talk to them about it and got bent out of shape. They really don’t like this person I’m interested in saying they know they’ve been playing other coworkers and whatnot. The person I’m seeing I think takes what we have going on more seriously than I have, dropping the “L” bomb, and talking to their child about me recently. So now, they have told me I won’t be a plan B to them, and that they won’t continue to see me if the other person I’m interested in is the person mentioned above. The person I’m seeing has been nothing but good and caring to me, but I really want to test the waters with this other person, but I don’t want to lose either of them in my life. HELP?!”

• Clueless

A: It sounds like you don’t have any actual intention of moving forward with the person you’ve been seeing. You seem concerned that they’re more interested or serious about you than you are in them.

It also seems like you’re just interested in another person and the person you’re currently with isn’t OK with that.

Unless you’re willing to commit and move forward with the first person, I would end things with them. Tell them how much you’ve enjoyed their company and getting to know them, but explain that you’re not ready to commit and you do not want to lead them on. I think even if you feel bad at first, it’s the kindest thing you can do.

However, I think it’s really important to note that your current partner probably has a good reason for not liking this second person. Be cautious and aware. Get tested regularly if this second person is sleeping with other people.

Also, I would probably stop dating coworkers. That may not be the advice you want, but it sounds like the advice you need to hear.

Good luck, Clueless. I’m sure you’re gonna do what’s best for you and if you don’t, then at least you get a story out of it!

If you have better advice for me or for my readers, please write in and your responses may be published. Don’t forget to submit your questions here or below and come back next week to read more Spicy Takes with Sierra!