Santa Claus, Charlie Brown and Bing Crosby wouldn’t have a place to hang their festive Christmas hats if it weren’t for Pagans. And despite it’s grizzly origins, Christmas has never been better than it is today. 

Way before Joseph and Mary were Jerusalem bound, the Romans celebrated Saturnalia starting in 217 B.C. The Romans endured many defeats at the hands of Hannibal of Carthage, so they invented a fun holiday to boost public morale.

Between Dec. 17-23, Romans tossed work aside to give gifts, relax and play role-playing games that spat at the social hierarchy of the time. 

Slaves pretended to be masters and masters pretended to be slaves. Most of the slave/master decorum was tossed aside, if only for a while to maintain the spirit of the holiday.  Masters served food, while slaves complained profusely. 

But like that uncle who insists on bringing up the gun debate during a family watching of “Elf”, Saturnalia isn’t without its darkside.

During the week long festivities, crowds appointed a “King of Fools” or “King of Saturnalia” to lead the bacchanalian proceedings. But, as anyone who’s seen “The Hunchback of Notre Dame” can tell you, it’s not always good to be king.

At the end of the week, the king would be at best hazed and humiliated. Often times he would simply end up dead. Because the act was committed during the week off, nobody could be held responsible for the crime.

The festivities culminated with gift giving on Dec. 23, with gifts like candles, knives, and perfumes paired with poems. Eat your heart out Hallmark. 

While it was happily co-opted by Christians, they’re attitudes toward the holiday weren’t always positive.

After all, neither Jesus nor his apostles even suggested the church should have a celebration of the birth of Christ. The New Testament doesn’t even provide a date for Jesus’ birth. 

In the fourth century, the Catholic church decided to commit an act of subterfuge in order to gain new recruits. The church decided to pick Dec. 25 as an arbitrary date for Christ’s birth and promised Pagans they could continue their Saturnalia festival as Christians. 

The rest, as they say, is history. There were a few bumps in the road; Oliver Cromwell outlawed the holiday during his tenure as Britain’s lord protector.

Even in America, Gov. William Bradford of Plymouth Colony banned Christmas outright, forcing all public yuletide traditions indoors. This behavior was certainly rectified in 1870 when it became a federal holiday.

While we have the Pagans to thank for Christmas’ beginnings, many traditions we continue were thrown in by countries and cultures from around the world. 

Bringing a pine tree inside your home to decorate for the season began in Germany. If you’ve ever enjoyed a slice of yule log, you can thank the French who began the tradition of “Buche de Noel.” 

And the most Christmas of all characters, Santa Claus, would be nothing without the Dutch creation of Sinterklaas. 

Christians may believe they own the holiday, and to some degree they do, but the beauty of Christmas is that it borrows traditions from many creeds and cultures. It’s never been as great a holiday as it is now.