In 2011, Glamour magazine challenged women to count how many times they had a negative thought about their bodies during a day; 97 percent said they had at least one “I hate my body” every day.

We live in a time when society tells us what is attractive, but people need to realize what society sees as appealing may not appeal to everyone.

Your personal body image has a large effect on your sex life.

A poll by the State Hornet found nine out of 10 people on campus agree that a low self-image would make for an uncomfortable first-time sexual encounter. Instead of being invested in the moment, your mind is drifting. You start thinking about how a specific body part looks, or how the lighting makes your tummy look chubby, and the moment is lost.

“In my experience, negative body image is the no. 1 cause of bad sex for women,” said Dr. Hilda, a Clinical Professor of Obstetrics and Gynecology at Columbia University Medical Center, while on the “Rachel Ray Show.” “If you don’t feel good about yourself, what happens is your brain kind of leaves your body and you become a spectator. And you say ‘Oh don’t touch, don’t look at this, don’t look at that,’ and before you know it, the sex is over.”

When you are uncomfortable in your skin, it shows. You might stare at yourself in the mirror or shift your body during sex. Being self-conscious is not worth ruining the moment.

No matter what body type you have, confidence is key.

You can be tall and thin like a model or thick and curvy like a queen. No matter what you got, rock it. Your body image isn’t what you see in the mirror; it’s the way you see and carry yourself. Everyone is insecure sometimes – it’s not just you.

Ignore the magazines and the movies – no one is perfect. Everyone has things about their bodies that they don’t absolutely love, but it’s more than a size or weight thing. Instead of looking at the things you hate about your body, change it up and focus on the good things. If you accentuate the things you like about your body, others will take notice. It’s not about hiding the things you don’t like; it’s about showing off the things you do like.

Personally, I don’t think I have the body of a model but I am a woman with curves. I have hips and an Italian butt from eating way too many carbs – I love it. I am not stick skinny and I’m proud.

Another thing people need to understand is that there is a body type for everyone. Some guys like thick girls while some ladies dig super skinny dudes. Society doesn’t teach us what we are attracted to – that’s all up to you.

Once you start looking at yourself differently, you’ll notice the positive response it has on how people interact with you, on a personal and social level.

If you are feeling insecure the day of a hot date, here are a few suggestions: One, have a sexy secret. Legendary burlesque dancer Dita Von Teese said she always wears lace underwear because it makes her feel sexy even though no one else may see it. Do it for you.

Another thing to do is understand that your date is meeting you because they are attracted to you. In all honesty, they are going on a date with you because they know what you look like with clothes and are interested in seeing you without them.

Lastly, you control your sexy. Carry yourself like the beautiful person you are and people will take notice.

 

Ashley can be reached at: [email protected]