I pride myself on being an open-minded person. I believe everyone has the right to love whomever they choose.

There are different ways to have love in a relationship. There is a monogamous relationship in which love exists between two individuals who are solely committed to each other. There is a polygamist or polyandry relationship in which a number of people are in love but devotion is not limited to two individuals. Lastly there is a “swinging” relationship in which a couple, while devoted to each other, enjoys additional sexual partners.

Much like an “open” relationship; as a swinging couple, you and your partner are freely able to push the boundaries of your sexual relationship with additional partners while maintaining loyalty to one another. Both people get the commitment of a relationship but also the sexual freedom they desire.

The difference between an open relationship or polygamy from swinging is: swinging is usually done as a couple where two people share a physical relationship with another couple either as a foursome or by switching partners.

If you have seen the movie “Bruno” with Sacha Baron Cohen or the TV show “Swingtown” then you’ve seen an example of a swinging party. The scene where Bruno watches a married couple and wants to be included is something that would normally be allowed to happen in swinging. However, I think we all can agree the dominatrix scene was rather intimidating and slightly scary.

I had a friend, Jane, who while in a monogamous relationship wanted to be a swinger. Her partner, Dick, did not like this idea and it led to infidelity. Jane ended up cheating on Dick while engaged, hid it, and, in a panic to keep Dick in her life, they eloped in Nevada. Jane never told Dick the truth and now they have a marriage based on lies that will probably end in divorce.

Jane is an idiot. Instead of marrying someone who had different sexual beliefs, Jane should have found someone who values a swinging relationship and live a life where she and her partner can be happy. Now, chances are Jane will be miserable because she’ll have pent up sexual frustration as her needs aren’t being met.

Professor John Strother teaches a human sexuality course and believes every individual needs to evaluate themselves before entering a relationship. This way they will know if their needs match up with the needs of their partner and if the relationship will work or be a complete flop.

“Sometimes two people in a relationship try to meet two different needs and one may come at the expense of the partner,“ Strother said. “If someone knows in advance something that may not be accessible to their partner, then why do they hide it? Perhaps they have other needs that aren’t being met.”

Now, swinging is not for everyone. Most people have their needs fulfilled by a single individual and lead happy lives with beautiful relationships. Others feel they must have multiple sex partners in order to live a full life.

If you like the idea of being in a swinging relationship, here are some rules to consider: First off, swinging is not an excuse for cheating. Either you both want to be swingers or the relationship won’t be successful. Constant lying and cheating in a monogamous relationship is not swinging, plain and simple.

Secondly, openness and honesty are key. One of the root elements of swinging is you are still committed to your partner above anyone else; lying about your additional partners will only hurt the bond you share.

Something to consider: If you are thinking about swinging, you have to ask yourself if you can picture your current partner willing to try this with you and whether you are able to handle them sleeping with someone else. Have a discussion before any decisions are made.

As Strother pointed out, you have to know yourself first. If swinging isn’t for you, that’s okay, but don’t let anyone pressure you.

“You have to weigh the pros and the cons,” Strother said, “Is your sacrifice worth your partner’s gain?”

You should never do something you aren’t comfortable with. But then again, don’t knock it ‘til you try it. You never know what you could enjoy unless you push your own boundaries.