Marriage is often described as the union of two people becoming one. The tradition of women taking their husband’s last name is intended to reflect this unity.

However, it asks women to renounce a part of their identity. A woman’s choice to take her husband’s last name or not is personal. This decision varies depending on the woman and the relationship.

I feel strongly about keeping my own last name upon marrying. I’ve had my name for 21 years, it’s how others know me and it’s closely tied into my sense of self. Deciding to share my life with someone would not be reason enough for me to change this part of who I am.

My last name, Carapia-Aguillon, is a combination of both my parent’s names. The former is my mother’s maiden name and the latter is my father’s last name. I feel it reflects my identification with both families.

The fact that my parents chose to hyphenate my name instilled in me the importance of equality in a marriage. A healthy marriage should allow both spouses to retain their identity.

Junior studio art major Mary Vang is engaged and is conflicted about taking her fiancé’s last name. Vang said she and her fiancé have not come to an agreement on the decision, but she would like to keep her own name.

“I definitely want to keep my name,” Vang said. “It’s part of me and I just don’t want to lose that.”

Vang said she is considering hyphenating her last name, although her fiancé doesn’t really like the idea.

Today, couples have many options when deciding to change last names. Aside from the traditional approach, both spouses can choose to hyphenate their last name or even create a new last name.

However, the tradition of a woman taking her husband’s name carries a lot of weight in society and influences the views of both men and women. This tradition can have a positive unifying value.

Senior biology major Chris Gray said he would have a small problem with his wife not changing her name because of the tradition.

“I feel like (having the same last name is) a type of belonging to each other,” Gray said. “That leads back to tradition. It is the norm, it’s expected.”

Gray said he wouldn’t have a problem if his wife wanted to hyphenate her name, but he would mind if she didn’t want to change any part of it.

“I might have a small issue if she didn’t want to change it at all, but we could work it out,” Gray said.

A woman does not have to lose her name completely in order to establish a tie to her husband. Choosing to hyphenate or keep two separate last names are ways of retaining a sense of self while validating the role of one’s spouse.

Department Chair of the women’s studies program Rita Cameron Wedding chose to keep her maiden name along with her husband’s last name. Cameron Wedding did not hyphenate her last name; instead she chose to keep them both as separate last names.

“I think it’s just a matter of preference,” Cameron Wedding said. “Personally, I am thankful that I still have Cameron because it’s been my name since birth.”

Cameron Wedding also said she thinks there is a stigma for men around changing their name as well as for women who choose not to do so.

“I asked my students how many of them would change their name, particularly the guys, and there was one student out of all of the guys who said he would change his name,” Cameron Wedding said. “The guys said they wouldn’t do it because people would think you’re a wuss, whatever that means.”

The attitude on name changes after marriage are varied and personal. However, as a woman I feel certain elements of marriage are unfair.

Marriage is about sharing a life and oneself with another. The norm of women taking their husband’s name does not reflect this concept. Instead it suggests a hierarchy in a relationship when it should be a partnership.

Furthermore, a woman’s identity should not be subject to her career; women have the right to their identity regardless of whether they are public figures.

If a woman chooses to keep her own last name, in any form, this should be supported, not challenged. Overall, this choice can be beneficial because a woman who can bring a strong sense of self into a marriage can only strengthen the union, not weaken it.

Catalina Carapia-Aguillon can be reached at [email protected]