You’re going shopping for your 7-year-old daughter. She wants the regular: A lunchbox with Hello Kitty on it, Beauty and the Beast-inspired pencils, Justin Bieber shirts and a hot pink thong.

Preteens these days are growing aggressive with their attire and attitudes. Any 20-year-old man should honestly be worried about checking out the wrong girl because she could potentially be 12.

Young girls have gone from unreasonable to insane within the past decades and we’re one booty bump away from hiding the floss from our preschoolers.

We need to stop this madness before it gets out of hand. Fathers, uncles and older brothers, we need to unite. Mothers, go on a sweatshirt and sweats shopping spree. We have a lot to do to prevent Disney from feeling justified in showing subliminal penises in every motion picture.

Is it the media? Maybe it came with time, because we’ve seemingly gone through every trend possible: from DJ in Full House wearing loose-fitting flannels to Miley Cyrus wearing short shorts during a Disney performance.

It could be the exposure of sex to preteens. Sex is everywhere with cable television programs allowing an increasing amount of sex. The Internet has sexual material available to everyone.

Maybe parents have gotten too lenient with their daughters. The whole idea of “let the kids learn” and “it’s a phase” has resulted in a rise in sexual activity. My little cousin has lived through these phrases her whole life and now I have to prepare a lecture for her before every family party about how wearing half a T-shirt is inappropriate.

“Parents need to keep a closer eye on their kids, on the shows they watch and the clothes they buy,” said junior criminal justice major Angela Ludovico.

Sex tapes, wardrobe malfunctions and Lady Gaga dancing in a thong on YouTube – all these factors could be the reason why I force my little cousins to watch “Sabrina the Teenage Witch” reruns with Melissa Joan Hart’s overly conservative attire.

Accelerated maturity among preteens is like a cute zombie apocalypse that only ends in R. Kelly’s happiness.

“Instead of coloring in the lines, they’re coloring in their eyelid creases…” said senior speech pathology major Alyssa Mislang.

Why is looking older the new thing? Children need to cherish their childhood and enjoy the young things in life. There are coloring books to be colored, doll’s hair to be braided and teacups to be toasted. Kids don’t need to rush through age, they need to skip through it like you’re skipping hopscotch.