Imagine this: you have had a long day at school, and I mean long. Two midterms and a paper all on the same day. You rush home to change before work and then the phone rings. Your girlfriend is on the line, and she doesn’t sound good. Through sobs, she tells you that her best friend just died. Devestating, right? It doesn’t matter how or why it happened, she just lost someone who meant the world to her.

Across the country, some random guy already knows that her friend is dead, and he never even knew her. That’s because he subscribes to MyDeathSpace.com, and an e-mail just told him the fatal news.

MyDeathSpace.com is a website of young people from across the United States who have died. It pulls together their MySpace accounts and posts them for all to see. Whether it is a car crash or an overdose, murder or suicide, MDS, as it is referred as, shows no mercy.

If you have free time between bio and history, you can look up the deaths in Northern California on the Death Map. And if they don’t have someone you know who died, you can even submit a death. Fans of the website will search all over MySpace to find people who have died and then submit them to MDS, like it’s a game.

You can also head over to the forum section and discuss individual deaths. People here contemplate things like why someone killed his or herself. In one post, a person commented, “According to the obit she did it on November 7th.” Another reply stated: “weird…log on to MySpace…then kill yourself…MySpace is a killa lol.” Neither of the commenters knew the person, but they felt the need to go on the website and talk about the reason for suicide.

In another forum, four young men died after crashing into a grapefruit truck. Many posted in a comedic sense to the fact that they hit a grapefruit truck, saying things like, “Hope they didn’t get any in their eyes, that really stings,” and, “This might be the most refreshing death I have ever heard of.” Could you imagine if the parents of these four 20-year-old boys saw this forum?

Michael Patterson, a 25-year-old San Francisco paralegal and founder of MyDeathSpace, was interviewed by the New York Sun last week. In the article, he explained why he started the website in the first place.

“I wanted kids to read about people their age dying in drunken driving accidents and then not have that fourth or fifth drink that weekend when they’re attending a party. – Teens think they’re invincible. Looking through the hundreds of deaths on MDS shows you they are not,” he said.

I can sort of get what Patterson is talking about, except his reasoning doesn’t follow what the website displays. MyDeathSpace touts “One death or suicide per hour for the next 10 days!” They also sell buttons, magnets and wristbands like the yellow LIVESTRONG ones, using this sell pitch: “Support MDS! Be the envy of your friends!” Patterson is not an advocate for teen responsibility; he is an exploiter of death.

When asked by the New York Sun if there were any profiles that might be too embarrassing or undignified to use on MyDeathSpace, Patterson responded: “If they’re dead, they are put on the site.” He added, “People want to see interesting deaths, with interesting individuals.” He pays no mind to the people who knew the person. He cares not for the family grieving. If a young girl hangs herself, or a young boy jumps out of his dorm room window, they are now a daily read for the curiosity of some very morbid individuals.

Suicide is a very selfish way to die. Instead of exploiting this, Patterson should spend his time and energy advocating for suicide prevention and better counseling services to young people. He should work with groups like Mothers Against Drunk Driving, instead of parading the hundreds of alcohol-related car crash victims. But Patterson cares not about the people he posts on his website or the families and friends dealing with the grief.

Recently, some of my friends lost a friend of theirs in a vehicle accident. I would be devastated to see them find his MySpace on the website, and I know they would be angry.

I hope that Mr. Patterson comes to his senses and realizes that his website is offensive and disrespectful to those greatly impacted by the loss of a loved one.

This is not the movies; these are real people, with real families and friends who are dealing with very real grief.

Nicki Croly can be reached at [email protected]