My best friend, “Samantha,” was bawling when she called me last week. Her boyfriend had just broken up with her and she could barely compose herself enough to tell me what had happened. She said that she knew that their relationship was over, but that she didn’t think she should keep going out and breaking up. It hurt too much.”I don’t even want to date anymore, because it always causes someone pain,” Samantha said to me, choking back tears.

The conversation was all too familiar. I don’t know how many times I have consoled friends with relationship troubles, or they have done the same for me. And with each relationship that I go through (not that I have been through that many), it just seems as if my standards go up another notch.

“Won’t make that mistake again,” I tell myself.

And that’s what the dating game is all about, right?

Although it can hurt, we date to figure out what kind of qualities we like in a member of the opposite sex, even though along the way we may have to put up some emotional walls.

Dating is kind of like shopping for a new car. You kick the tires and drive a few lemons before you find the one that has all of the features you desire. And if you are patient, maybe you can find one that will be reliable and suit your individual needs.

But ever since I started taking upper division classes here at Sacramento State, I noticed something. My junior and senior colleagues aren’t shopping around any more. Forget about dating. Forget the test drive. They’re married.

Just look around while the professor is droning on and on, and notice just how many people are sporting metal on their left ring finger. Your local Diamond and Gold Vault store has less wedding jewelry than an upper division classroom at Sac State.

It’s different than last year when I was a sophomore. It seems as though Sacramento State is an alternate universe where everyone has gold or platinum wedding bands.

And I am not just talking about the older students who have decided to go back to college. Many of these students are very young. When did being single and living it up in college go out of style? Is it just a thing of the past?

I am only 20, but yet it seems as of my pickings have suddenly become slim. For that single guy or girl, the thought of having to glance at the ring finger before asking someone on a date can be kind of, well, discouraging to say the least.

But then it occurred to me that maybe this just a Sac State thing. Ever visit San Diego State or even UC Davis for that matter? A majority of students wouldn’t be caught dead sporting commitment diamonds.

Look at the national marriage statistics for 20-somethings. The average age for tying the knot continues to rise, according to the National Center for Health Statistics, which reports that the average age is late 20’s. At the same time, the U.S. Census Bureau reports that nearly 50 percent of these marriages end in divorce. Our generation is driven by the quest for individual success. We’re the children of divorce. And we are not eager to repeat it ourselves.

So maybe Sac State is just an absurdity in the bunch of college campuses. Or maybe the reason so many here have already tied the knot has something to do with the fact that it is a commuter school. Or maybe it’s because 37 percent of students here are over the age of 25.

Either way, having your professor tailor class discussion topics to the experiences of married people is more than a little odd when you’re still single. Last year, the only men I met would run away like dogs with their tails caught between their legs at the thought of commitment. Now my classes are full of married guys.

And it’s not like I’m looking for it right now either. But like I said, slim pickings.

So, even on campus two conflicting societal standards seem to haunt me. One that says women should be independently successful, and the other that says that in college women are supposed to find “the one” that you will live happily ever after with.

I am one of those women who grew up on the cliched version of love in those fairytales where even if you ate a poisonous apple somewhere along the way, your prince charming was still there to rescue you at the end. But I also live in a time that says women should be liberated and don’t need men to make them happy. We really don’t.

I have plenty of goals for myself, and honestly, I don’t know how I am supposed to fit time into these plans for a healthy marriage. I know that I have a lot of self-discovery to do first.

But, part of me just hopes that in the end, when I have seen the world, my prince charming will be there waiting for me in a sexy, but reliable, sports car.

I know that Samantha would agree.

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