Dream jobs for degree shy students

Jason Okamoto

We all have dreams for the future, no matter how selfish or egotistical they might be. Most college students at CSUS are using this time as a stepping-stone in order to achieve these dreams. This provides a pleasant campus atmosphere where learning (and making contacts) is encouraged.

However, there are definitely some students who don’t know why they are here, and don’t want to be here. These are the students who feel a loss of oxygen whenever stepping a foot on campus. For them this is not a place where youth thrives on knowledge, but rather a place of animated death. I know this feeling, because I use to be one of those students. My advice to you suffocating souls: quit school. Stop giving your money to Sacramento State if you don’t want to be here. Besides, you could always come back.

Although I am confident that most students do care about school, for the ones who don’t, I offer some different visions of a future. Ladies and gentleman; “My Dream Jobs That Don’t Require a Bachelors Degree.” You are welcome to steal these dreams and make them your own, as long as it makes you happy. For those whom this does not concern, skip to last paragraph.

NASCAR driver tops this list because of the pure thrill factor. I also love driving fast and wouldn’t mind if various corporate sponsors paid me to do it. I can see myself now, proudly sporting whatever logos they stuck to my racing jacket, posing for the cameras while drinking Pepsi.

Another job that I respect a great deal is that of a plumber. Whenever the plumber visits my home I always find myself asking questions about the intricacies of water pipes. For some spiritualists, flowing water represents the path of life. This makes sense considering that we need water to survive. Over 70% of the earth is covered in water, and it amazes me that plumbers are the only few who really know how it all works. Not to mention they also deal with others peoples crap, and that’s an admirable duty.

However, making your living off being admired is another thing.Most fashion models make their living by being objects of desire, but is that something to be proud of? Rather than letting my head blow-up I take the highroad and choose to dream about becoming a faceless underwear model . I would gladly objectify the lower half of my body for designers such as Jockey, Calvin Klein, Ralph Lauren or whoever will have me. Being an underwear model would insure that I won’t be a victim of my own vanity, for they are the most humbled of models. Although my crotch might be on a billboard up in the sky, my face would be cut off from the public eye. It would be the closest thing to being a superhero.

The last dream job, realized later in my life, is to be a lobbyist. Although some may think a college degree is needed for this, there are no official requirements for becoming a lobbyist. This adds to the mystique of America’s most mysterious professions.

I would love to meet some guy on the street and introduce myself as a lobbyist. Then I would just stare at the confused expression on the fella’s face, he not knowing that I make my living from kissing the asses of government officials. Nevertheless, no matter how vague this occupation may be, it involves a great deal of developing human relationships. And I’m always down for making new “friends.”

In the present context, I am simply a journalist whose duty it is to lobby for the student body. In order to do this I will need your help.

I encourage all students to write in and let me know what major concerns you may have regarding the campus, your education, or even the ever-elusive A.S.I. Thank you.