I suffer from narcolepsy during the day and insomnia at night. This is strange because most people who don?t follow normal sleeping patterns are categorized as rebellious, nonconformists,or freaks. I am none of these.

The reason why I can?t seem toget sleep? I am a college student.

College students do not have time to sleep. Most full-time college students spend a standard weeknight working on homework assignments, or studying for tests.

When time comes for the lights to go out, some can?t keep their eyes shut, while others achieve sleep, but the next day they end up wearing their lack thereof.

In a study at Louisiana Tech University, 15 percent of students reported poor quality sleep, and only 11% with good quality sleep.According to an article written by Peter J. Hauri, Ph.D. of the Mayo Sleep Disorders Center, 10 percent of Americans suffer from chronic insomnia.

However, there are things that can be done to increase chances of sleep. Firstly, there is simple exercise. Exercise for at least fifteen minutes during the day should do the trick.

You can also try meditation, which relaxes the body and prepares it for sleep.

Lastly, there is massaging; rubbing the body to stimulate circulation and relieve stress. In other words, “masturbating yourself to sleep.” It works 99.9% of the time, or so I?m told.

Personally, I don?t religiously practice any of these cures. However, to increase chances of a pleasant night?s sleep, I do try to make sure that the last strong image I see before bed is a beautiful one.

For example, if I?m watching TV I might change the channel to see CNN Headline News anchor Rudi Bakhtiar, or perhaps try the Nature Channel in hopes of seeing a flower or something.Although insomnia has a variety of remedies, narcolepsy is virtually incurable without the help from a doctor. She or he may recommend stimulants such as Dexedrine, Ritalin, or Provigal.As for the unavoidable nodding off in class, I can only prescribe the Vienna coffee served at the campus Creperie.

However, use with caution, because coffee still is an addictive drug, and it makes your breath smell extremely awful.

To Hornet readers, I offer something else to wake you up: Seeing how ASI gave themselves pay raise, I felt that you, the good people of Sacramento State, deserve something for simply just being a student who makes it to campus (and reads our paper).

To the quickest person to read this column and reports to State Hornet office (second floor of the Union) I personally offer 10 dollars in cash.

Just tell them that you read Jason?s column and you?re here to you to collect.

Thank you for reading.

Note: There can only be one winner, Hornet Staff and CSUS faculty excluded. Changes in rules and regulations will be decided by Jason Okamoto.