The State Hornet

Sierra’s Spicy Takes: Leave your waitress alone

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Sierra’s Spicy Takes: Leave your waitress alone

Meet the face behind the new advice column at The State Hornet

Meet the face behind the new advice column at The State Hornet "Sierra's Spicy Takes," Sierra Savage.

Photo and illustrations by Emily Rabasto - The State Hornet

Meet the face behind the new advice column at The State Hornet "Sierra's Spicy Takes," Sierra Savage.

Photo and illustrations by Emily Rabasto - The State Hornet

Photo and illustrations by Emily Rabasto - The State Hornet

Meet the face behind the new advice column at The State Hornet "Sierra's Spicy Takes," Sierra Savage.

Sierra Savage, Distribution manager

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Reader be advised: Sierra’s Spicy Takes is, as the kids might say, NSFW. Read at your own discretion.

I am truly grateful for all the enthusiastic responses that Spicy Takes has garnered. I wasn’t sure what kind of turn out we would get in terms of questions, but I have been proven right; everyone has problems. This week, we’ll be taking a chance to just get to the heart of any advice column: the questions.

Q: “Dearest Sierra, how do you approach asking out attractive people you experience in everyday life? I personally lack the confidence in being forward in short interactions, (think drive-thru employees or cashiers). There have been many occurrences that I wish I had been quick on my feet in these conversations and either asked for their number or given mine. Is this generally seen as tacky or desperate? Should I just try going for it and take the lumps when they come or hope to bump into their online dating profiles?”

  • Laughs When He Cums

A: There are a couple of layers to this answer so buckle in.

Most importantly, DO NOT FORCE WORKERS TO INTERACT WITH YOU. It’s never OK to flirt or come on to a person who is working if there is no feasible way for them to say no or leave the situation without being rude. They’re working, and it’s their job to be nice to you. If they are nice, it might be genuine, but you’ll never know because they were working. How icky to make someone respond to your advances while they’re on the clock.

On the other hand, I don’t personally think it’s an issue if you were to casually write your number and a compliment on a receipt and then leave thereby letting them have the power and ability to make the decision on whether or not to move forward.

I am generally a pretty direct person and in theory wouldn’t mind letting someone know I think they’re cute. I know that route isn’t for everyone because it generally comes with plenty of rejection, but it’s OK, because there are literally billions of people in the world. I also like to think about how sad I was about boys from high school and how I think those same boys are gross. That always makes me feel better.

Also, if you’re leaving your number, most of the time you haven’t had a chance to actually interact with this person. You’re basing your attraction on their outside appearance, which isn’t necessarily wrong, but might also leave you wanting. I have met plenty of dumb, boring, unfunny attractive people. It’s a risk you have to be willing to take.

Think about how you would want to be treated, don’t hit on people when they’re working and maybe think about not just hitting on someone because they’re hot. Don’t be afraid to do it because of rejection; be afraid of being a dick.

Q: “A man told me that he doesn’t want to have a no strings attached sexual relationship but that he also doesn’t want to date me. What the fuck does he want and what do I do?”

  • Kiki’s Dickery Service

A: I think you should consider what you want because that’s what’s most important. But overall, it sounds like he’s not the person for you.

He’s saying no to a healthy non-exclusive friends with benefits situation, and yet doesn’t want to put in enough commitment to actually work on making a relationship.

Everyone deserves to be happy with a partner who also wants to be there. It sounds like this guy just doesn’t.

My advice would be to let him know that you were confused and possibly hurt and move on. There are plenty of guys (and other genders on the spectrum) who will be much more likely to align with you and what you’re looking for.

In the future, I would be upfront with what you’re looking for even if that means its a broad range of things that you’re open to. If the person that you’re interested in doesn’t align with that, you do both yourself and them a disservice by trying to force two pieces that don’t fit together.

Q: “What do you do if you think that an advice columnist gives bad advice?”

  • Sick of the Spice

A: Well, as we’ve previously talked about this week, I’m always a fan of open and honest communication.

I’m also a big fan of constructive criticism.

But to be honest, I would just suck it up and roast me on Twitter (@SierraSpicy) like a real millennial.

Don’t forget to submit your questions here or below and come back next week to read more Spicy Takes with Sierra!

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