Science says men take breakups harder

Cambrie Sevaaetasi

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Midterms and the aftermath are upon us and any added stress is unwelcome.

Midterms and finals are some of the worst times to be experiencing a breakup, but considering what sex you are biologically, it could be worse for you.

According to a study conducted by researchers from Binghamton University in New York and University College London, men take breakups harder than women do.

“Fusion” has also covered the topic of breakups and how they are handled differently by each sex. Their article, “Why breakups hurt more for women” said, ‘Breakups seem to ‘hit’ women harder at first, but they do recover, often in better ‘relationship shape’ than before,’ says Craig Morris, a professor of anthropology at Binghamton University in New York and lead author on the study. ‘Men react differently initially, but also seem to never truly ‘recover.’ They just sort of move on,’ Morris continues.”

Social norms do play an intrinsic role in these findings. Many ways one would express sorrow or sadness are not afforded to men due to the social norms society has set in place for males. Expressions like crying, or “excessively” talking about the breakup, are not welcome in the world of masculinity.

Women are socially seen as “weak”, therefore crying is a commodity they can afford to have. it is more acceptable for women to freely express their sadness and sorrow with the same sex and/or the opposite sex. Generally, they are allowed to be more expressive and emotional. It’s through their expression that they begin to process these emotions. This process is also known as the “healing process”, which males may never complete before entering their next relationship.

One socially constructed double standard for women and men can actually aid women, and puts men at risk.

Promiscuity is more socially acceptable for men than women. Women may fear social scrutiny for moving from one relationship to another quickly after a breakup. This fear keeps some women at bay. For the most part, the more time spent single after a breakup the better. It’s always nice to take time to evaluate a situation before moving onto another.

Men are more so expected to move from mate to mate, otherwise known as the “rebound,” in turn making it harder for them to address their pain and move on in a healthier manner.

It’s really not a matter of who handles a breakup better, but who is socially allowed to heal.

Social norms should be rethought when the norm is to go through life emotionally and mentally crippled. We as a society must show our boys and men that they are worth more than stigmas. We need to let them know that their well-being is important to us, and that to be a man, to be a human being, means smiles AND tears, motions AND emotions, and that all of these are normal.

If you see your fellow “homebody” just broke up with his “boo,” buy him a tub of Ben and Jerry’s, put on “Beaches,” and tell him to cry it out. It’s good for him.