Those who are middle children, in other words, have one older and one younger sibling, usually feel like they are the unluckiest child in the family. They feel the most ignored from their parents during their childhood, always having to fight to be in the spotlight. 

The middle child usually watches as the oldest sibling soaks up all the glory of being seen as the leader. The oldest child is always trusted with the bigger responsibilities and sets the bar high for the middle child. 

The youngest sibling is the one that is spoiled the most, since they are seen as the baby of the family. When the younger sibling comes into the picture, the middle child is forced to accommodate their needs and end up feeling replaced.

The way this sibling structure is set up, it is no wonder why middle children feel out of place. They act out in order to seek the attention that they are denied from their families. They feel like they have to work twice as hard just so their presence is noticed. 

The name that identifies this conflict that middle children face is Middle Child Syndrome. According to Elizabeth Danish of Health Guidance, the characteristics of this syndrome are “low self-esteem, jealousy, feelings of emptiness or inadequacy, unfriendliness, and a tendency to be introverted”

Middle children should not have to feel like it is their responsibility to earn their spot in the family. It is not their fault that they were stuck in between an older over achieving sibling and a spoiled younger one. 

Middle children are not just unlucky and born into the wrong situation. Parenting plays a role in the way that middle children see themselves in the family.

Dividing time evenly between children is the first step to preventing Middle Child Syndrome. An older daughter may get more attention from the mother, and the younger brother may get more attention from the father. So where does that leave the one in the middle? As long as parents rotate and give equal attention to everyone, no one will feel left out. 

An additional and crucial way to end Middle Child Syndrome is for parents to not compare the middle child with their other siblings. Comments such as “why can’t you be more like your brother,” or “your sister behaves better than you” are hurtful to them. It is the main reason why they feel that they will never be good enough or live up to their family’s standards.

Figuring where you belong in life is something everyone goes through, but it should not be something to struggle with in the family. Middle children should not think that their parents love them less because they give more attention to the other siblings. Most of the time, parents do not realize the harm that they are doing when their attention is not divided equally among their children. Middle children should also try to meet their parents halfway and let them know when they feel like they are ignored or treated unfairly.