To the women who choose not to have kids, we thank you.

State Hornet

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We thank you for not succumbing to the pressures of society. We thank you for knowing what you want and not compromising because it is what you are supposed to do or what society expects of you.

Those of us who do not want to have kids tirelessly put up with “You will change your mind someday” or “Won’t your mother be disappointed if you never have kids?” These questions beg the justification of a lifestyle choice. Why is a woman who makes the decision to have kids not also questioned of her motives?

Some things are not for everyone. For me and an increasing number of women my age, having children is not in the future. We are labelled as selfish and “something must be wrong with us” when really we’re just not maternally inclined.

I applaud you ladies who know what you want, and for recognizing that childbearing isn’t for us. It doesn’t mean we hate kids, it just means that raising one is not part of our path in life.

We have to stand there and constantly justify a completely personal lifestyle choice to someone and it is a gross invasion of privacy.

The reality of having a baby is one that people have failed to recognize. The process of having a baby can be one of the most painful experiences a woman can have. She could miscarry multiple times. Money, an unstable marriage or family, and lack of support or career decisions could also be factors–the list goes on.

But it doesn’t matter because the reasons are no one elses business.

So let’s quit making women who do not want kids feel bad. We do not need to give anyone a reason why, it is what makes us who we are. In the same way that motherhood can shape a woman’s identity, so does her choice, involuntary or not, to remain child-free. Period.