Television rots your brain, but it certainly doesn’t stop me from watching it. There’s the good, the bad and the “Ugly Betty.”

Instead of hoping for that impending show that I’ll get addicted to, I’m focusing on my tried and trues – “Pushing Daisies,” “How I Met Your Mother,” “New Adventures of Old Christine” and “30 Rock.” These were my black-tar heroin. TiVo was my enabling mother.

“Pushing Daisies” has been the premiere I’ve been waiting all summer for. The tale of the crime-solving piemaker with magical powers that bring the dead back to life kept me going all season long. The series itself is set in an unreal, almost Tim Burton-esque wonderland – bright colors, garish outfits, a musical number here and there. Molly Shannon guest starred last season. I am curious to see who they bring in this time around. After leading actor Lee Pace’s Emmy nomination for his role, I see no reason why ABC would say no to the show.

“Ugly Betty” is back with her brace face. I never really know how I feel about this show. Half of me enjoys it entirely, the other sits there and wonders when I laughed last. This season promises the best guest stars as per usual. Lindsay Lohan returns to appear as Betty’s high school enemy. I’ll tune in just to see that freckled ginger.

NBC is bringing back “The Office” of course, and it can’t neglect the ratings’ disappointment of “30 Rock,” considering it is the funniest show on television. It simply can’t stop winning Emmys. But the new, shining light that I’m terribly excited about is “Kath and Kim” starring Molly Shannon and Selma Blair. It’s a sitcom about a hairdresser mother and daughter who are all class with their acrylic fingernails, gold hoop earrings and thongs peeking out of leotards. It’s campy, it’s ridiculous and it’s just what network television needs right now.

CBS has always been that redheaded stepchild of network television. It brought me “Survivor” and “Big Brother” and “Amazing Race,” and it certainly was amazing how I never tuned in for any of it. “How I Met Your Mother” and “New Adventures of Old Christine” are the two programs that made me believe in CBS again. I know what you’re thinking – CBS? Doesn’t it cater to the thrivin’ 65-and-older crowd? Not anymore.

HBO, on the other hand, has failed me. If it were my child, I’d send it away to a boarding school in Mexico. Entourage has been a seething disappointment. I think I may be over Ari asking to “hug it out” and the constant throngs of, well, thongs. We get it. Vinny Chase is real hot. He’s had a lot of women. He is so cool, much cooler than you.

In the case of HBO, I understand that a series must end. “Sex & the City” and “Sopranos” went bye-bye, but HBO does bring something back for me to love – like “Tell Me You Love Me,” last season’s raw and real look into the sex lives of American couples. It did not get renewed for a second season. Where will I get my gratuitous television-sex needs fulfilled?

I know what you’re thinkin’ – Showtime. Showtime is back and better than ever. For gratuitous sex, I tune into “The Tudors” – the recount of the days of Henry VIII. Jonathon Rhys Meyers gives his best performance as the king, bringing a dimensional, searing take on one of the most infamous characters in history.

The moral of the story? HBO is dead to me. Showtime is my new lover. Network comedy is on the up and up. And “Kath and Kim” is almost guaranteed to be the “Napolean Dynamite” for fall 2008. Monasky out!

Briana Monasky can be reached at [email protected]