According to the Merriam-Webster Online dictionary, the definition of righteous is: “acting in accord with divine or moral law: free from guilt or sin.”

I wanted you to know this because Hollywood feels no guilt or sin from taking your hard earned cash for a movie that should have been made 15 years ago. To be quite honest with you, I think it actually was and they just didn’t release it. I am referring to the heaven-shaking unification (sarcasm) of two talented actors, Robert De Niro and Al Pacino, for Jon Avnet’s (Fried Green Tomatoes, 88 Minutes) “Righteous Kill.”

This movie intrigued me because I keep asking myself if cops ever retire. Or better yet, if you’re an Italian New York Cop do you have to be Catholic? Apparently, in this film, the answers are yes. De Niro and Pacino play New York cops trying to solve a case of a serial killer “offing” criminals.

The first sequence of the film made me think that I traveled back in time to the first Lethal Weapon due to the rock montage of the two actors at a firing range. I was pissed because someone turned Danny Glover into this white guy and aged Mel Gibson to be a senior citizen. Then I realized CGI isn’t that good yet and time travel can’t exist or I would have traveled back and not paid five dollars for a movie soda. For the first hour of the movie, I kept waiting for De Niro and Pacino to high five each other after every line. Didn’t happen even once. The co-stars of the film like Carla Cugino (she played Vince’s hot agent on Entourage), Donny Wahlberg and John Leguizamo helped keep me interested with their performances. However, 50 Cent and the sexy Trilby Glover need to attend some acting classes after witnessing their awkward exchange during a drug deal.

Or maybe they just look bad next to the holy grail of actors in De Niro and Pacino. Every frat boy’s dream: The posters of “Scarface” and “Goodfellas” unite!

Um? no.

“Righteous Kill’s” dialog never seemed to flow due to snap shots of action rather than a cohesive realistic story line. Aside from some semi-entertaining plot twist, the movie is more homage to two actors whose egos might have been too large to share a screen. Here is where you bring up the movie “Heat” where they appeared for about five seconds together. Well, Val Kilmer’s presence in that movie cancels out any chance of me acknowledging that.

There are a few laughs found in this movie, mostly coming from some witty one-liners delivered by De Niro and Pacino. On the other hand, every time the “killer-cam” happens, you might wonder why they shot this movie on a cell phone.

If you need to see “Righteous Kill,” go pick up dear ol’ dad and let him wish “Godfather II” was still in the theaters.

Gregory Westcott can be reached at [email protected]