College is a prime time for dating. For many Sacramento State students, it is the first time on their own. Most of us have jobs, apartments and responsibilities. And with all these grown up aspects of our lives, big-girl dating should come, too.

But dating can be stressful. What should you wear? Do you skip straight to dinner or start slow with meeting for coffee or lunch? And do you mention your ex over several shots of Jagermeister?

It seems to be easier for men than it is for women. There are so many rules and so many guidelines for us to abide by. So what’s legit, and what needs to be thrown to the side?

Many dating etiquette experts consider what you wear to be an important first step in creating a good first impression.

Futurescopes.com’s dating advice section recommends avoiding “loud and flashy garments and making over-the-top style statements” on the first date.

I disagree. In fact, besides being flashy, I try to wear as little clothes as possible to give the impression that I am easy. Boys like this.

I’ve got this fantastic unicorn tube top I especially like to wear on a first date. It screams class. I pair it with these supah’ short daisy dukes I got at Macy’s on the clearance rack. Since it is important to look semi-professional, I like to wear a pair of high heels with this ensemble. When I look my best, I feel confident in my dating approach.

It is important to also discuss your likes and dislikes. I always try to wedge in how I enjoy oral sex and watching Nascar. It’s not true, but it is important to at least pretend to be interested in the same things as your date.

Howtodothings.com is a first-date etiquette website that, among other things, encourages women to avoid talking about previous boyfriends while on a first date.

“Don’t discuss why you broke up, how long you were together, how much you miss him or how great or horrible he was,” the site informs.

Again, I think they’ve got it all wrong. This is a prime example of how to get your date jealous – jealousy is a good thing. If you can get a guy to get into a bar fight over you, that means he really cares about you.

On a first date, I like to mention how my ex was incredibly attractive, in fact more attractive than the current person I am dining with. I like to mention how good my ex was in bed. To really bring it home, if my date orders a drink, I like to mention that my ex drank whiskey, a manlier drink than he is drinking.

On the subject of alcohol, there are more suggestions to go along with that part of the date. Several experts say it’s important to avoid excessive drinking on that initial outing.

Howtodothings.com recommends “(not) drink(ing) extensively on a first date. One drink is fine, but more than that and you may run the risk of getting drunk. Getting drunk often results in an embarrassing situation for both the woman and her date.”

Can you guess how I feel about this? They’ve gotten it wrong again. And I know from a little thing I like to call experience.

When I go on dates, I get liquored with a quickness. This can be especially helpful if your date turns out to be a real bore. My time is precious like a birthstone, so if I feel like it’s being wasted with a square, I order another whiskey and water and call it a day. By the time he drops me off and I fall out of his Ford Focus, I won’t be able to remember when he recounted his “life-changing” trip to Gettysburg.

And, even better, if I’m having a great time, those whiskey and waters may be a good way to get my date in bed.

That brings me to the most important part of a first date – men really appreciate it if you go all the way. It’s called manners, ladies. If he buys you dinner, you better make it worth his while, and that means home run.

When you wake up from your gin-soaked hangover, remember to leave your number on his nightstand as you escape from his apartment. He’ll never forget you. He may never actually call you, but it’s his loss, right?

Oh, and always use a condom. First dates require first-rate safety.

Briana Monasky can be reached at [email protected]