It’s Halloween, and you know what that means. Within the next 24 hours, you’ll be wearing one of those “Scream” masks, your pants will go missing and you’ll have accumulated a higher blood alcohol concentration than the corpse of John Bonham. But before you go and knock down six gallons of “Natty Light,” you really ought to stop and ask yourself an important question: Is alcohol really the only way you can have fun?

Probably not, but it’s certainly the quickest way.

See, long ago, humans realized a simple fact of life: Drinking isn’t a bad way to spend your evening (or afternoon or morning for that matter). Historians have suggested that booze predates irrigation, bread, writing and most modern religions. And while the last few generations of humans have turned getting wasted into an art form, we owe our lust for fermented beverages to our prehistoric ancestors. Our forebears had their priorities straight.

In spite of the drunken college student cliché, it seems that Sacramento State students understand moderation isn’t a bad thing. On our campus, excessive alcohol use isn’t as huge a problem as elsewhere. According to the most recent statistics offered by campus surveys, 77 percent of Sac State students claim to never drink and drive, while 75 percent also have three or fewer drinks a week. Assuming students answered honestly, those are respectable numbers.

The campus has even implemented rules and programs to try and help you think about alcohol in a rational, safe manner. There are brochures teaching students how to throw safe parties, including a section on responsible alcohol consumption. There are events like the Natural High Fair, which promote healthy, drug-free lifestyles. And all students who turn 21 even receive a birthday card from the campus, warning about the dangers of drinking.

The campus even takes special precautions against advertising, precautions The Hula’s Bar and Grill probably know quite well now. Hula’s, the newest alcohol-serving establishment on campus, got in trouble for advertising drink specials without following the protocols of Executive Order 966. The order is applied across the CSU system and establishes that all advertisements for alcohol must be balanced with messages reminding students to drink responsibly, something the bar’s advertising didn’t take into account.

It’s understandable why advocacy groups are in a huff over the bar’s transgression, especially considering The Hula is an on-campus bar. However, assuming the bar got the message, it’s not that big of a deal. Like Round Table Pizza, the bar is an eatery first and a bar second, despite what the ordering of the name of the place might suggest. Its success rides on its ability to serve decent food, especially given that this is a commuter campus and most folks probably feel more comfortable getting tipsy somewhere off-campus.

We’ve got to know our own limitations, regardless of subliminal advertising suggestions. Problems with alcohol largely stem from screw-ups who don’t know the definition of moderation. A lot of the information disseminated by campus groups and programs help students understand moderation and responsible drinking. And that’s how it should be. Remember, it’s not a bar’s fault when you get pulled over for drunk driving.

Yeah, there are ways to have fun without alcohol. But let’s be honest, most folks will opt for the lamp shade.

Paul Rios can be reached at [email protected].