The idea that nice guys finish last is not only a cliche, but untrue. This is because the world of men cannot be broken down into groups of “nice,” “jerk” and “in-between.” Categorizing men as one or the other ultimately leads to confining them to a group they don’t necessarily belong to.

It also assumes either all nice guys are unattractive, or that looks don’t matter. I can’t speak for all the ladies out there, but if two guys stand side by side, the initial attraction will be to the one who is, subjectively speaking, the best-looking, regardless of personality traits. A nice guy who is attractive most likely has a better shot than a jerk who is attractive, but a nice guy who falls on the “not so cute” end of the spectrum might initially be beat out by a good-looking bad boy.This is because women aren’t drawn to “jerk” and “not jerk” on a simple level – other things such as attraction most definitely factor in.

Nice guys tend to get a bad reputation, but someone who is “nice” is perfectly capable of having an adventurous and spontaneous side as well. Just because a word elicits a negative connotation doesn’t mean it’s the truth – the definition simply needs to be expanded to include the fact that nice does not always equate to boring.

Holly Grupe, freshman child development major, said her boyfriend is supportive, caring and loving.

“He’s really easy to talk to,” she said.

He also respects her, which is important for bad boys to take note of. Being abrasive doesn’t guarantee you’ll get an all-access pass into a lady’s pants. In fact, nice guys tend to have the upper-hand in that they may get a green light on the first date, but they also have a sense of delayed gratification; something which is not only the sign of a more intellectually evolved man, but also wins points with the ladies.

“I think nice guys…might not date a lot,” Grupe said. “But they’ll have wholesome relationships.”

Stability is something that most everyone desires, but in regards to relationships, it comes in different forms. Women may want a “friends with benefits” type of scenario, but those who intentionally overlook the nice guys in pursuit of someone more experienced are not only feeding the stereotype of nice guys missing out, but, ultimately, they’re shortchanging themselves.

Additionally, saying that nice guys finish last in the relationship game is demeaning to women. It is equivalent to declaring all women don’t know what they want until a specific age, and that they’ll seek meaningless sex over emotional connections in a search for fulfillment.

In reality, women tend to seek out men who fit the description of what kind of relationship they’re interested in. According to a 2002 study by Sprecher and Regan, women tend “to place more emphasis on (physical attractiveness and prior sexual experience) when listing preferences for a casual sexual relationship as opposed to more serious romantic relationships.”

Grupe said she thinks “generally, girls are looking for a relationship,” and that it is in-between serious relationships when they tend date bad boys, simply because they’re not expecting it to evolve or last.

The truth is, not every woman is in the mindset to get married or be involved in a serious relationship at the same time in life. Some women are just as “bad” as the men who are players. Assuming that nice guys finish last also assumes that all women are passive bystanders waiting for the right man to either sweep them into bed or off their feet, when in fact, promiscuity exists among both the sexes.

I got married at age 21, but I have female friends who are 25 and still show no signs of settling down. It doesn’t mean that because I married early, my husband is a jerk, nor does it mean that because my friends aren’t getting married, they’re only seeking out destructive relationships that are doomed from the start.

Instead, it means women will date men who fit the criteria of what they want at any given point in life. The nice guys aren’t going to be surpassed simply because they’re nice – typically a girl who passes over one of these types is simply not looking for the same kind of relationship.

Eventually the nice guy will prevail, because the difference between them and the bad boys is they don’t view relationships as something with a finish line in mind.

Natalye Childress Smith can be reached at [email protected]