Once more two merry bands believed they’d found a war worth fighting. On the digital boulevard, reds and blues paraded in full regale, not with the batons and pom-poms of our campus cheerleaders, but rather adorned in the garb of a renaissance faire guild. Antiquated was their faux chivalry. With insults for armor and ad hominem attacks for swords, they clattered seemingly ceaselessly.

So it is that The State Hornet forums are filled with the liturgy of the tactless as our College Democrats and College Republicans fail their respective crusades, exposing themselves not as members of righteous causes, but people whose causes were self-righteous.

With all the chaos locked inside the colossal Internet forum wreck, I can do no better than to act the fool in a game gone foolish, hoping to mock and enlighten those who have laid claim to the throne of political supremacy, a jester in a Shakespearean tragedy hoping for the just to restore order once again.

Ward Connerly’s arrival at Sacramento State could have created space for an intellectual and academic training ground for these political hopefuls. At the event, there appears to have been a back-and-forth discussion, an engagement between the speaker, the club and the protesters. But the follow-up responses on the Hornet’s “Prop 209 speaker faces protesters” showed no trace of common ground, no sign of dialogue.At best, two opposing monologues emerged from users like Joe Patterson, Joaquin, Alice and Chris Smith. They had something to say, but their often press release-styled responses attracted nary a meaningful reply.

At worst, there was a debate; an impotent dissing contest without significance or substance. Robert Marcelis, who claimed to be a member of the College Democrats, and Tyler Rico, President of the College Republicans, blessed us with trite analyses. The two held a pathetic and pointless debate about which side “won” the conflict. Each had cruel edicts for the other; Marcelis attempted humor by attacking Rico’s attire and declaring “victory” for the protesters, Rico responded with boasting Connerly’s “$10,000” price tag and the Mr. Magooian charge, “This was by far a victory, you are just oblivious to the outcome.”

And the tone of their ranting? Eerily familiar are their lines of hastily constructed hubris.

Anyone remember the Iraqi Information Minister?

“We made them drink poison last night and Saddam Hussein’s soldiers and his great forces gave the Americans a lesson which will not be forgotten by history. Truly.”

Truly, both the College Democrats and the College Republicans came out of this dispute the worse for wear: Among the bickering and the politicking, affirmative action and Prop 209 matter more than some imagined competition. Ward Connerly being here matters more than gloating that one club has more pull than another.

This never had to be giant douche versus turd sandwich, yet, the partisans can’t help themselves.

Let’s hope that these justice-seekers seek justice for more than themselves, and to set this house in order.

If this to you was hurtful, callous, cruel, then take to heart my claim: I’m but the Fool.

Frank Loret de Mola can be reached at [email protected]