Is it the size of the ship or the motion of the ocean?

“Bigger is better,” “it’s all about how you use it” and “it’s directly related to the size of his feet.” Going through life hearing these common phrases referring to penis size can’t make things easy on guys.

Penis size is a huge concern among men. Is it big enough? Is everyone else’s bigger? Does she care about what size it is? I mean, what does she really think?

“First of all, penises are fabulous,” health science senior Shar Rauch said.

According to our favorite nurse Sue Johansen from the television show Talk Sex and many other researchers, the average penis size across all ethnicities is about 5 to 7 inches when erect. Many researchers say that because of psychological ties and stereotypes about penis size, it’s hard to convince men that the average penis is adequate. For most women, “average” is even better than adequate.

“I guess the real question is: How small is too small?” communications studies junior Briana Montedore said.

From talking to many guys around campus, the consensus is that they don’t stand around comparing their rods to their friends’. What, then, are they comparing the size of their manhood to? The common response from guys is porn.

Porn is about as unrealistic as sex can get, so how do guys really know if they are normal or not? Quite honestly, they don’t know if they’re not out there observing other schlongs.

Some women will tell you the size of your magic stick does matter, but for the most part, women are not nearly as concerned with size as men are.

“Big is good, but there is definitely too big,” said communication studies senior Geordi Royston.

The size of your member definitely affects your sexual performance, but not in the way you might think.

The more you worry about your size, the less time you are spending focusing on the lady you are attracted to. Pretty soon, all you can think about is what she’ll think of your little buddy and how harshly she will judge your jimmy, dreading the moment when you have to take off your pants.

A very vocal group of communications studies females I spoke to were unanimous on one thing: confidence is everything. Montedor said that confidence makes a HUGE difference (I believe there was no pun intended).

Pay attention to this advice and the females you date in the future will thank you.

Those negative thoughts going on in your head are killing the atmosphere for your girl. Women can sense you’re nervous about something and can most likely tell something is up (or down). Women can smell insecurity a mile away and there is no faster way to lose us than allowing insecurities to ooze from your pores.

Your constant concern about your johnson kills any chance you had with your lovely lady. You’ve severely hindered your performance before you even got a chance to show her what you’ve got. Instead of ruining your performance before it even begins, let’s reassess your situation.

First, she’s not thinking about the size of your pickle, so get over yourself.

“I don’t just automatically size the guy up when I first see them,” communications studies junior Merrilee Roscoe said.

She wants to see who you are and how well you sweep her off her feet. If she’s spending time with you, that means she wants to be there, so be confident in that.

When the time comes and you’d normally be worrying about your unveiling, instead worry about taking her and showing her the best time of her life.

Exude confidence no matter what size your tool of pleasure and satisfy her. She’ll keep coming back and she’ll definitely agree that it’s the motion of the ocean, no matter what size your ship is.

Don’t pump it up and, overall, just stop worrying about it. I know we’re not worrying about it. Casey Farrell can be reached at [email protected]