Now that Justin Timberlake has declared that sexy is on its way back, it is important to know some of the ins and outs of what is sexy. It is important that sexy people continue to not only be sexy in public, but also sexy in the bedroom.

You may be wondering, what is sexy? Now, when you ask that question, I assume you are talking about flavored condoms. When one hears the words “flavored condoms” uttered, one thinks, “Oh, that’s hot!” But is it really, my sexy friends? I had to find out. So, I set off on an adventure full of sexy people, and, well, sex shops. In reality, they are not that sexy.

My first stop was in a small boutique in Orangevale, where a very un-sexy woman lectured me on decency about asking strangers questions about the products they sell. I apologized for whatever I had done or said, and asked if flavored condoms were popular. She claimed that they were extremely popular, but ironically, the boutique did not sell them. Disappointed, I walked myself out of the store, but not before she tried to sell me some sex toys.

My next stop was Kiss-N-Tell in Fair Oaks. After exploring the shop for an hour or so, I was offered some insight from an employee, Suzy Krusemann. Krusemann, 20, has been working at Kiss-N-Tell for a little over a year, and was more than happy to share her personal and professional view on flavored condoms. Professionally, she pointed out some of the different flavors and brands.

“They are very popular,” Krusemann said.

She explained that they are primarily for oral sex and protecting against sexually transmitted diseases. She said she has never used them.

“I don’t really see the point in them,” she said as she laughed.

I thanked her, and after an exchange of sexy smiles I was off to my next location.

Store after store, I would only hear the same thing: “Yeah, they’re popular, and it’s for oral sex.” Most places were not willing to point out what flavors were sexy. But I was determined in the name of sexiness, so I went to every sex shop in the Sacramento area, until I got some answers.

After a long day of exploration, I had compiled some answers. The popular flavors that kept coming up were strawberry, grape, and vanilla. If one were to use flavored condoms Trustex condoms taste better, and the taste lasts longer. Flavored condoms are not lubricated, so for oral sex they are ideal. For intercourse a lubricant is needed, which coincidently also come in a verity of flavors.

Sophomore communications major Rachelle Riley has tasted the flavored condoms.

“They taste artificial and (like) rubber. Not sexy.” Riley said.She said the flavor is not very good, which shows that flavored condoms do not necessarily make oral sex enjoyable for both parties. Most guys hate condoms for regular intercourse, so why would they want one for oral sex? If taste is the problem and you do not want to use a condom, then there are flavored mists and lubricants.

“Flavored condoms are a good prank gift, but not a turn on,” Riley said.

If you would like to have fun with a condom, then get a glow in the dark one. At least then you can have a good time making it disappear and reappear.

Mikhail Chernyavsky can be reached at [email protected].