For most people, Mother’s Day is a time to celebrate with family.

Instead, last year, Tricia Snow was at the cemetery visiting the gravesite of her only child and Stephen Head was being released from prison.

Jesse Snow, a 20-year-old Sacramento State business major who had recently taken an interest in criminal justice, was killed in a drunk driving accident near midnight on Oct. 25, 2001.

Earlier that night, he and Head, an American River College student, were served alcohol at Chevy’s restaurant on Howe Avenue despite being underage.

Tuesday marked the four-year anniversary of Snow’s death. Tricia Snow spent the past week taking part in National Collegiate Alcohol Awareness Week at Sac State, interacting with students at the Oct. 19 Natural High Fair and displaying the mangled car from her son’s crash.

On the night of the accident, Jesse Snow and Head left Chevy’s in Head’s Camaro to travel the 1 1??2 miles to their Park West apartment. Head lost control of the vehicle at 96 mph and hit a tree at 66 mph. Snow’s spinal chord was severed, his chest was crushed. He mad major internal bleeding and died at the UC Davis Medical Center after going into cardiac arrest.

When Head was arrested at the medical center, his blood alcohol level was at 0.26, three times more than the legal limit.

“He thought he was OK to drive,” Tricia Snow said.

Snow said according to her son’s cell phone call log, he was on the phone every two to three minutes during the hour before he died looking for a sober driver.

“I really admire Jesse for making it a point to try to get a ride home,” Snow said.Snow said her son would wish for students to have a plan before they go out.

“Call a friend, call Safe Rides,” she said. “There is no doubt that everyone has been in a situation where someone has had too much to drink.”

According to state law, Head had to be prosecuted, but Snow dropped the civil lawsuit.”We wanted to focus on Chevy’s, not the driver, because we already knew he was going to go to jail,” Snow said.

In addition to the wrongful death suit that Snow filed against Chevy’s, the Department of Alcohol Beverage Control sued Chevy’s. The restaurant filed a motion against The Sacramento Bee to have information suppressed about the lawsuits.

Chevy’s had its liquor license revoked in September 2003 for 30 days and until recently, Chevy’s was on a two-year probation.

During the trial, the prosecutor had to prove that Snow would have appeared visibly drunk to the Chevy’s bartender. Tricia Snow said that the AM/PM gas station next door to Chevy’s had a surveillance camera that got Jesse Snow on tape that night dropping his ATM card repeatedly before going back to Chevy’s to pay the bill.

The wrongful death suit was settled out of court and awarded $1.5 million to the Snow family. Part of the settlement between Chevy’s and the Snows required the restaurant to donate $50,000 to Sac State to promote alcohol awareness. This money has been marked as the Jesse Snow Memorial Fund.

“They never apologized to us, but they released statements that said they would do everything they could to prevent this tragedy from happening again,” Snow said.

Snow said Head was a friend of the bartender who served the two students that night. Head drank frequently at Chevy’s because he knew he would be served there. After being fired, the bartender testified about inadequate staff training at Chevy’s.

Snow said there were about 12 students drinking together at the restaurant that night; six of them were underage.

She blames a series of mistakes for what happened that night. “Chevy’s shouldn’t have served to minors, the bartender shouldn’t have made the drinks stronger and Stephen shouldn’t have driven home,” Snow said.

“When I forgave Stephen, I felt like a load was lifted off my shoulders. The facts and the verdict of the trial helped to dissolve my anger,” she said.

On Oct. 3, 2003, Judge James L. Long cleared the courtroom and allowed Tricia Snow to address Head privately for about 20 minutes. “We told each other that it was going to be OK,” Snow said.

Head was convicted of vehicular manslaughter and sentenced to four years in prison because he had no prior record. Head is considered a felon and cannot drive or vote. He is randomly tested for drugs and alcohol and has to remain employed.

During the sentencing, Head told Snow, “I wish I was dead, and Jesse was alive.”

“He really wants to do good for Jesse and make a difference,” Snow said.Snow said that Head is deeply remorseful and has to live with the pain of losing his friend everyday. He doesn’t want to live in his hometown or associate with his old friends.

“Prison changes people,” Snow said. “Stephen’s been through so much. He lost 25 pounds during the trial.”

Snow plans to meet with Head sometime around the holidays to give him some of her son’s belongings.

When General Motors heard about the lawsuits, they bought the car and have been storing it for the last four years. Every year, they tow the car to Sac State, to display it.

“They’ve been wonderful; they’ve really stepped up to the plate,’ Snow said.

Snow was also recognized at the 2005 spring commencement ceremony as a reminder to students to have a safe graduation weekend.

Heather Dunn Carlton, the coordinator of the Alcohol Education Program at Sac State, said that the Jesse Snow Memorial grant has been given out every semester since fall 2003.

Dunn Carlton said that Tricia Snow does not specifically participate in the grant process, but she is notified of the funding outcome every semester.

“There might come a time for her to get more involved with the process. There are a lot of people on campus that regularly communicate with her,” Dunn Carlton said.

There are three priorities established by the Snow family for the use of the funds: alcohol education and prevention programs, on-campus, non-alcoholic social events that target a general Sac State student audience and the development of the Safe Rides, which offers students sober rides from Thursday through Saturday nights.

“Safe Rides is a phenomenal group and we are so lucky to have them on campus,” Dunn Carlton said. “I would like to see them increase participation and do more to recruit volunteers.”The Alcohol Education Program was also able to purchase a video, “Deadly Persuasion.”

“Instead of canceling a class on a day they can’t be there, professors can choose from a list of programs that we’ll come in and facilitate,” Dunn Carlton said.

Every year, Snow attends a candlelight vigil held by MADD at the Capitol. Snow visits Sacramento about every 1 1/2 months to visit with her son’s friends.

Dunn Carlton thinks that Snow’s grieving has been a gift to others.

“(Tricia) really has invested herself in the students of Sac State,” Dunn Carlton said. “In a way they have all become her children. Whatever she can do to make sure no other student at Sac State dies in such a tragic way as her son did.”

Snow said that she was glad her son’s friends were able to meet up with him in the quad the morning before he died. She allowed her son’s friends to take what they wanted of his personal belongings. Jesse Snow’s best friend Mike Maza still cares for Jesse’s fish to this day, Snow said.

“I find myself saying things that Jesse used to say. I treasure his CDs and I listen to his music all the time. Sometimes I’ll see someone that looks like Jesse -” Snow said.

Snow said that the loss of a child is often referred to as a catastrophic stressor. She said her grief was prolonged for two years because of the trial and now she has time do deal with it.

“Jesse and I were so close and to share that bond with all these people was hard,” Snow said.

Elizabeth Wilson can be reached at [email protected]