I hate you. Get out of my life. Love me. Doesn?t this succession of angry and sexual emotions seem a little awkward? Doesn?t it seem like the latter is based on some kind of base need for affection that completely contradicts the former and interrupts the goal to be accomplished? Does break up sex have any kind of symbolic translation or is it merely the sum of its parts: guiltless and unadulterated sex.

Now I know that break ups don?t always happen like that. Some are mutual agreements of respect, while some are sad and tragic shooting stars of passion that burn out amidst a blaze of love and death. And some just fall apart like a delicate house of cards sitting by an open window on a windy day. All meet the same demise, even if by different means.

But in-between the highest peaks and deepest valleys of any broken relationship, there is one pivotal instant right before the end that presents the opportunity for one last moment together. At this instance, one rarely reflects on the reasons or the need for it, but gravitates toward it, despite the hurt and pain surrounding the moment.

This is quite possibly why I can?t understand the apparent allure of break up sex. One of you just got the shaft and now you?re going to celebrate by reveling in something that won?t ever happen again. You don?t do that when you part with anything else. When you?re fired from a job, you don?t go in and steal some pens one last time, for old time?s sake. When you sell a car, you don?t take it to get one last tune up. And when you?re getting out of prison you don?t go back and visit the showers just to reminisce.

Maybe people like to have break-up sex because they don?t know when they?ll be able to have any again. My grandmother once told me to eat everything on my plate because you never know when you?ll get another meal. Thankfully, she never gave me any advice on how to handle the topic at hand, but I think I can apply her philosophy across party lines. But ultimately, I think this theory fails, because at that crucial moment most people are thinking about the past and present rather than what tomorrow may bring.

Ultimately, I think people just like to have sex, and it?s convenient for them to do it with someone they already know, rather than going out and finding someone else. Whether it?s a good thing to do or not is irrelevant. Some people may need that final touch, while others may just want to end the relationship on a sweet note to drown out all the other sour ones.

I?d like to say break-up sex is symbolic of the bond between two people and the relationship as a whole, but it wouldn?t be a fair statement. If this were true, the sex would probably start out hot and heavy and pleasing for both. But as it went on, one got bored and became disinterested in what the other had to offer and eventually just put a stop to it.

But since that may have been the problem to begin with, it may not be too appropriate after all, which further proves my point. Besides, if it was so good that you needed to have it one last time, isn?t the relationship worth salvaging in the first place?

Josh Huggett can be reached at [email protected]