Somewhere between Nicolas Cage running through the woods in a mama-bear costume and Ellen Burstyn slapping on the Braveheart war paint, I decided The Wicker Man is a movie better seen after happy hour.There are so many better movies out there that deserve remakes more than this cult/British/horror/musical reject from the ’70s. Give me my damn Bullitt remake already.The Wicker Man remake of the cult classic is better than the original, but I’m only saying that because I was not fan of the 1973 horror musical.Thankfully, in Neil LaBute’s new version, Cage does not wow us with any of his singing talents. After seeing the movie I question Cage’s financial status. Maybe he lost big at the races and he needed a good payday, because only then can I understand why he would agree to be in this film.The movie centers around Cage, a California police officer who travels to a private island off the coast of Washington, where he still pretends his highway patrolman’s badge gives him the right to go through every house and attic without a warrant.He travels to the island to find a lost girl, or, should I say, an allegedly lost child. The youngster belongs to a former fiancee of Cage, hence the reason why he made the trip up to the middle of nowhere.As with most modern remakes, LaBute decided to David-Fincher the movie up, i.e., darken the mood of the original. The atmosphere is bleak, and there’s fog rolling over the foothills of the town, which looks like it was taken straight from the pages of M. Night Shyamalan’s The Village.I understand what LaBute was trying to do. He took an interesting idea and then gave it a solid actor, a better cinematographer and a brilliant composer. However, where he went wrong was hiring himself as the writer/director.Cage brings so much more to this film than Edward Woodward did in the original. Cage is clever, witty and has more stage presence than his predecessor. I think this movie goes to show how strong an actor Cage actually is because he’s able to overcome a dyslexic director.That being said, I think Burstyn failed miserably when compared to the original actress. There are so many differences that separate her from the original cult leader, Christopher Lee. One has talent. One doesn’t. One is a commanding actor. One is a whining actress.I’m not saying that Lee should have revived his role as the leader of this island; however, the producers of the remake should have looked within the male Hollywood community to find their lead villain.The real problem with the movie is the pacing. It felt as if LaBute knew the story he wanted to tell, but instead of taking his time and explaining it to the audience, he simply hit all the highlights. The movie felt like a Cliffs-noted version of a potentially great film. It was as if LaBute got so excited to tell us the twist ending that he rushed through the entire plot.Cage has an impressive career under his belt, so I’m going to let him slide on this film because it is obvious he wanted the money; people should keep that in mind when they go see the movie.