Once again your friend has made a comment that is on the borderline of hitting on you, but you’re not interested in your friend like that and he or she hasn’t taken your subtle hints.

Your friend is a nice person, but he or she seems to want more from this relationship than you are willing to give. This is where you pull out the big guns and have a DTR, or a “Define the Relationship” discussion.

DTRs can become your best ally for handling those uncomfortable conversations you may need to have with any socially-challenged individuals who are complicating your world. A DTR is a conversation that defines where you and the other person stand in a relationship, whether you are friends, more than friends, dating for fun, dating to eventually get married, etc. A DTR allows you to tell your friend explicitly what your intentions are and where you see the two of you heading in the future.

Christina Schroeder, graduating this spring with a degree in liberal studies, defines DTRs from personal experience.

“I typically refer to DTRs as those really awkward conversations with guys who don’t get the point,” Schroeder said.

Despite the awkwardness, she feels DTRs get the job done, though sometimes with unfortunate side effects.

“It normally ends a guy’s pursuit,” Schroeder said. “But sometimes it also ends what could’ve been an awesome friendship.”

If you begin a relationship by saying, “I’m just here to get to know you as a friend, nothing more,” it sends a clear, direct message that says, “Don’t think about me as a romantic prospect.” This confrontational approach seems bold, but I surely appreciate this type of honesty in my relationships; it helps to make everyone more comfortable. If I am too thick-headed to recognize subtle hints that you’re not interested in me romantically, a DTR spells it out for me and lets me look at a girl as just a friend.

Tiffany Clayborn, a communications studies major also graduating this spring, confessed that DTRs are a good tool only when utilized properly. “I believe DTRs are great for both parties but only if the timing is right,” Clayborn said. “If the DTR comes too early then it could end up scaring your partner away.”

Unfortunately, most girls seem to want to avoid this type of conversation because they don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. Guys avoid these conversations because, for the most part, we don’t always know what the heck we are thinking, if anything at all.

These generalizations aren’t always the case, but they explain many of the semi-dating world. This is a good example of the lack of communication in relationships today.

I prefer the brutal truth from a girl, rather than the cliched lines that I am more like a brother to her, or she’s not good enough for me or whatever. I just hate BS, and I think the majority of people would prefer to be dealt with honestly instead of having someone blow steam up their… well you get my point.

Wouldn’t a relationship that starts out with the truth be a refreshing change?So I guess the real question is: what is more uncomfortable for you to do? Become an expert of the runaround and avoid ever making waves around your friends who can’t take a hint, or have a hard core DTR that is the end all of awkward conversations?

Personally, I am a big fan of DTRs; but then again, I’m a rare breed of male who hasn’t had a date in almost two and a half years – but I’m sure that has nothing to do with it.

Andrew Stewart can be reached at [email protected]