Surprisingly, my Thanksgiving passed pretty quietly.

My family gatherings generally consist of watching sports,arguing about sports and my cousin lecturing on the popularity ofNASCAR.

Then some football and dinner.

But not this Thanksgiving.

Not a single argument.

It was pathetic…Like our family was swept into an alternateuniverse.

I mean, we didn’t even play football. Instead we held amini track tournament of 50-yard sprints out in the street. Thereisn’t anything more pathetic than a group of 20-somethingscompletely winded after a couple of runs down the street.

The biggest thrill of the night came when we all took turnsholding our newborn cousin Dean.

What is happening to my family? What if young Dean thinks thisis how holidays operate? Is this happening anywhere else?

I can’t have this on my conscience.

So, for Christmas I have formulated a short list of argumentsand stances to take with family.

Is Barry Bonds on steroids?

The steroid buzz around Bonds is gaining momentum with hisrecent involvement with BALCO 8212; a drug company involved inaiding Bay Area athletes with the steroid THG.

If Bonds success was due to the “roids, thenwouldn’t other athletes have put up similar numbers or atleast have improved their numbers along similar percentages?

As a Giants fan, Bonds is not taking steroids and the Giantswere World Champions in 2002.

Who should start: Mike Bibby or Bobby Jackson?

Neither of these guys give the Kings the type of guard theyneed. Both are shoot-first, pass-second players and when Webberreturns from injury the Kings would benefit more from a true pointguard that can create shots for other scorers.

But out of the two, Bibby is more offensively balanced thanJackson, but he is one of the league”s worst defenders at theposition.

Still, you stick with what has worked and Jackson has theexperience as the league’s top sixth man.

Better Cartoon Sitcom: “The Simpsons” or”Family Guy?”

Finding a great television sitcom is like meeting the right girl8212; you will always remember the good times you had with them,you never really get sick of them and they only hang around for 30minutes at a time.

Choosing between “The Simpsons” and “FamilyGuy” is like deciding between Britney and Christina…”The Simpsons,” like Spears, are still a tad morefamily oriented than their counterpart, but continually attempt tobreak from that mold.

“Family Guy” on the other hand repeatedly pushespast boundaries, and like Aguilera, leaves you with that stupidjaw-dropped expression of disbelief.

“Family Guy” wins.

Is it considered effeminate for a guy to sit in Supercuts andread trashy entertainment magazines?

It looks bad choosing a cover with J-Lo on it over a”Sports Illustrated,” but wait…it looks worsechoosing LeBron James over photos of good looking women.

Should baseball get rid of the designated hitter or does thegame need guys way past their prime like Cecil Fielder and MikePiazza?

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