At least 60 percent of our communication is non-verbal. The non-verbal signs we show others have five times more impact than verbal ones. We automatically pick up on body language subconsciously when we encounter others.

Pop quiz: You meet someone for the first time. What kind of body language do you use to show them your level of interest? Remember, you only have 10-20 seconds to make a good first impression. Five minutes after that, that person is confirming the positive impression they have of you. Fortunately, we don’t have to think about what to do with our eyes, facial expressions and gestures. This behavior comes naturally to us and we subconsciously let others know how we are feeling and what we are thinking just by our body language.

We have all wondered if the person we have our eye on is looking back. Maybe we have wanted to let another person know we are interested in them and attracted to them, but just can’t find the guts to tell them. Well, good news. We don’t have to depend on words. Our bodies do the talking.

Whether you are the flirter or the flirtee, decoding this forgotten language can put you where you want to be, or get an annoyance out of your way. You just gotta know the right moves.

One of the most commonly known signs of positive body language is direct eye contact. It demonstrates interest in a person or topic. It is important to keep eye contact with professors, your boss and your friends to let them know you are listening and interested.

But what about that hottie in your English class? Get their attention by catching their eyes, then hold it. Three to five seconds. Sound difficult? It is. It sometimes can even be painful at times, but worth it.

Holding someone’s gaze, whether they gaze back or look away and back again, tells the person they are the center of your interest. If locking eyes is a bit too gutsy for you, try looking in the person’s direction a few times and only hold the glance for a moment each time.

The eyes are the window to the soul. They tell us a lot about each other. So take note about someone’s eyes when you are talking to them. A person’s pupils constrict when they are lying or being secretive. On the flip side, pupils dilate when a person sees something pleasurable. The eyes widen when a person is excited and become narrow when they feel threatened in some way.

Lips are the most emotionally expressive part of the body. Smiling at people always gives off a good vibe. A flirtatious smile stands out.

This technique is used by both sexes, but girls will slightly tilt their head down, cock it or give a side look more often than guys. Guys may slightly tilt their head back when smiling and flirting with a girl. In any case, prolonging the smile is ideal. Biting the lip, slightly showing the tongue and touching teeth also give signals of interest.

The easiest and most elaborate body language to pick up on are gestures.

A firm and strong grip when shaking someone’s hand shows confidence, whereas a soft and weak handshake usually means the person is unsure and timid.

In times of stress, people often touch or grip themselves for reassurance. It relates to the saying, “get a grip on yourself.” We usually rub or grip our face, back of neck and arms.

There are a lot of gestures that are signals of a person being attracted to or interested in another.

The first thing to notice when talking to someone is if they have open or closed palms. Open palms are a sign of openness and honesty. A secretive person will have closed palms or a tight fist. A woman will sometimes expose her wrist as a sign of sexual attraction since the wrist is an erotic part of the body.

Leaning forward towards the person speaking to you is a definite sign of interest and attention. The technique is useful with a boss and professors when you want to let them know you are interested in them.

Closed posture is easily detected when a person has their arms tightly crossed, their posture is hunched over, and if they are fidgeting with their hands or an object. A good rule of thumb when looking for open or closed posture is to see if the person’s torso is completely exposed or if it looks as though they are trying to conceal their torso to some extent.

You can sense how close people are or how comfortable someone is or wants to be with another by looking at whether they are within each other’s comfort zone. Everyone has a different comfort zone, but in American culture we tend not to let people with whom we’re uncomfortable within an arm’s length of ourselves.

Think of how you feel in a crowded elevator or look at how far away you are from the person in front of you next time you go to the bank. People begin to get nervous and anxious when their space is invaded, but if people are comfortable with each other, they stand within this space. On the other hand, we tend to perceive people as standoffish when they stand farther than an arm’s length from us.

One of the most positive signs of interest regarding gestures is mirroring or doing things in unison with another person.

When on a first date or just talking to someone you have the hots for, see if the person begins to mirror your gestures. Sipping a drink at the same time, crossing or uncrossing legs as you do, having the same posture and maintaining the same pace of speech are all clues of interest or feeling a sense of unity and oneness.

Another common sign is the direction where the knee and foot are pointed. A person points their knee or foot in the direction of the person they are most interested in or most comfortable with.

You can also pick up the same hint by looking at which direction the chest and torso are facing. When a person plays with or runs their fingers through their hair in the presence of the opposite sex, it is a sign of grooming themselves in attempt to look attractive in their presence.

Body language is the most honest communication we use. It is truly amazing how much we reveal without having to say one word.

Do you think words speak louder than actions? Send some words Cyndi’s way at [email protected]