ASI presidential hopeful Brandon Kline has a nifty idea. He thinks we need a university flag, and of course, a flag post to put it on. Kline suggests a campus-wide contest to design the new flag.

Here’s an idea Brandon: How about a contest to design the hokiest building on campus? Oh wait, that already took place! Or so it would seem, judging by what passes for architecture on this campus.

Let’s take a tour of Sac State and its off-the-wall architecture, shall we?

Upon entering campus from the J Street side, all appears lush and green, a haven in the midst of the city. But hidden behind the trees and buses is a cluster of buildings, each with its own “character” (read: uglier than the last Causeway Classic).

There’s the vein of buildings that extends from Douglass to Brighton Hall that must have been military barracks in a former life. Painted cream and brown, with no architectural detail whatsoever, they inspire academic growth about as much as a cardboard box.

Actually, cardboard boxes would probably be cheaper to maintain.

If you turn your attention to the east, you’ll notice the unusual erection of concrete and glass that is Mendocino Hall. Was it modeled after a Lego space station? Here comes George Jetson in his spaceship!

Next, head west, but be sure to shield your eyes from the brightly colored walls of Kadema Hall. Can you hear the circus music? Even if you don’t know it by name, you know Kadema Hall–it’s the one that looks like a Hot Dog on a Stick hat.

Just next door to Kadema is…the Love Boat! Seriously, Mariposa hall looks like it’s about to set sail. There should be deck hands greeting you at the front doors and a cheesy cruise director telling bad jokes in the elevators.

Travel down the lane between the barracks and the Love Boat, (and the hideous cement-and-rock creation that is Eureka Hall) and cross the library quad, which reminds you of a courtyard in an office complex. Not much of a campus centerpiece, but hey, it’s something.

As you make your way to the Union (more on that later) take a good look at the library. Have you ever noticed its striking similarity to the jail downtown on L Street? With its large columns and tiny windows it looks like a place for mug shots and fingerprints, not research or studying.

And then there’s the Union. Before it’s 1998 remodel, it was just an ugly building. Now, with the new building protruding from the old one at odd angles, it looks like an architectural WWE match. And put out a call for a math professor who can explain the geometry of the Union’s design. It brings new meaning to the word “wrecktangle.”

Let’s not forget our own mini version of the Golden Gate, the dear old Guy West Bridge. Yeah, it’s just like San Francisco; only here people are clamoring for spots to watch the fog roll in along the weedy, littered banks of the river.

Last, but definitely not least, judging by their ever-growing numbers, are the chickens. Sac State brochures can boast that the campus is filled with the sounds of “wildlife.” Who knows, maybe new students will be charmed to find out “wildlife” is actually farm life.

Of all the things we are missing on this campus a flagpole doesn’t make top of the list. There’s no central location, no outstanding architectural detail, nothing that sets the campus apart.

Campuses back east have stunning classic architecture. Out here, places such as UC Berkeley have the Campanile. Stockton’s UOP has its Bell Tower.

Sac State? We’ve got “the Rubik’s Cube” known as Placer Hall. (Which isn’t even used by students. It houses the United States Geological Survey and administration.)

Obviously Sac State is no Ivy League, and it doesn’t need to be. There’s got to be something between stuffy and downright tacky. Our campus is like the Wal-Mart of universities; it’s efficient and cheap but not much fun.

ASI’s Kline is right. This campus definitely needs something new. But a flagpole, or a UN’s-worth of them, isn’t it.

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